Sandwich Control

For the record, my stimulus package was killed on the floor of the House. I currently have 40+ mosquito bites on my forearms and hands. What the fuck?! I actually woke myself up last night I was itching so bad. I have so many in my antecubital space (at least twelve) that it looks like a shoot heroin there. Or at least it will after I scratch them until they bleed while I’m asleep and they get all scabby. Well May is over after today so I should have the Daily Photographs updated by this evening. I also added a new General Photograph yesterday. I have to go work on my storage/work room now. More soon. ~SC

At night I am feasted upon by mosquitos. I wake up everyday covered by inflammatory response. Currently, in my head, I am plotting and planning some sort of adventure. Perhaps involving a basket. Or a bucket. Or even a busket. Fucking fish boots. Yesterday, in no particular order, was a weird day. As I was purchasing the ingredients to make Frito Chili Pies, the cashier ask me if I was going to be making “haystacks”. Maybe “haystacks” are like the “Build a mountain”s I used to have in the elementary school cafeteria. Maybe Frito Chili Pies, according to said cashier, are the fuel one requires for actually going into a field to make haystacks. Who knows? I tried to satiate the inner rude boy with an all day MMB marathon in my headphones, to no avail. I took a break from it to watch Wristcutters: A Love Story. After viwing the film Gogol Bordello was added to the playlist alongside the Bosstones. Four chimipoquitos and a trike rdie later, I returned home to further wallow in my own frustrated boredom and was met with Pancake Land’s frustrated boredom at which point WE wallowed in a collective frustrated boredom. I think perhaps this lack of real direction and responsiblity is making us a little stir crazy. We are just getting used to being out of school and being able to go and do things, without worrying about orders getting out on time or homework getting done or studying for tests. We have all the time in the world to do whatever we want and we cannot find a thing to do. I think it is the overwhelming sense of choices. So many to choose from, how will I ever pick just one? Money, as always, is also an issue. We are both smack dab in the middle between paychecks. She is still in bed right now, perhaps I’ll go get this adventure started by waking her up with my own stimulus package. More later. ~SC

I am in a very strange state of mind. I’m a little tired, a little down, and have the overwhelming urge to listen to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I have almost all of their albums, with the exception of Live from the Middle East for some reason (If anybody has it, please send me a copy.), so it is not totally insane that I want to listen to them. Perhaps it is the fact that the days are beautiful and warm, but not hot, and there is a cool breeze blowing and all I want to do is soak up UV radiation and produce vitamin D, which helps your body absorb calcium, while cruising on my trike. Maybe I’m not awake enough yet. It is like a bad joke told by your creepy drunk uncle. “A hopeless romantic, a rude boy, and a scientist walk into a bar at 7am and the barkeep says “Sorry, there’s only enough coffee for one of you.” And the rude boy says…” It is all very surreal. I’ll write more later, when the elephants don’t look like Giacometti sculptures. ~SC

Today was the fourth day of tacos, and we finally ran out. Admittedly, we added to the supplies of meat, beans, lettuce, and cheese throughout the four days, but today it all evened out and everything ran out at the same time. And at the end of the fourth day Sandwich Control looked at what he had created and he saw that it was delicious and he ate it up. He ate it all up. Today was a good day. I got some work done at the studio, ate tacos and chocolate cake, and the new season of Wipeout started. The new obstacles are insane. Is it just me or is the Wipeout Zone kinda like the end of Life is Beautiful when the Nazis kill Roberto Benigni after a seemingly touching and funny story. All the way through the Qualifier, the Sweeper, and the Eliminator the mood is light and humorous and then (bum, bum, buuummm) here comes the Wipeout Zone where we are brought back to Earth with all joking aside to witness a group of four people either triumph in the face of or crumble under the weight of life’s greatest obstacles. I always kind of want to turn it off after the first three rounds. The fourth one always brings me down. Anywho, it looks like it is going to rock it hard. Well, I’m off to do my stretches before bedtime. Until next time… (insert flatulence noise here) ~SC

Being a grown up is so excellent. If you want to eat tacos everyday, you can. Because you’re a grown up. Pancake Land and I are currently on day three of taco binging since returning from the wilderness, i.e. places without tacos, and it is still not getting old. I think I could probably eat tacos for another week before seriously considering eating something else. As far as new developments here on Holliday Island not much else is new. Well, maybe one thing. Grass, our newest parakeet, has started screaming at the alarm clock. At six in the morning. And he will continue to make a ruckus all day until bedtime. Needless to say, Pancake Land does not take kindly to this. She has started “freeing the birds” into the “bird sanctuary” everyday until I get home from work. This just means that when I leave for work in the morning, she gets up and puts the bird cage, with Mortimer Ichabod and Grass in it, into the laundry room and goes back to bed and the birds remain there until I return home in the afternoon and put them back in the bedroom. Currently Mortimer Ichabod is sitting on his new perch yawning and pooping into the trash can lid and I am daydreaming about tacos. Grass still will not come to me, so until he does, he stays in the cage while M.I. gets to come out and play. Anywho, not much more new stuff happening so far this week. I’ll let you know when it does. Until next time…shuddup. ~SC

Pancake Land and I returned from the wild yesterday after an excellent adventure. It was your standard run-of-the-mill camping trip. Mosquitos, fishing (not catching), monsoon like rain, then, damp tent, lots of eating things cooked with fire, ants, generally poor personal hygiene, beer (none for me, thanks), then, family drama. You know the drill. I took quite a few photographs and I have posted the best for you, the loyal reader. Daily, General, and Mustache Photographs have all been updated. After returning home to an empty and quiet house, P.L. and I realized how much we enjoy having the house to ourselves. We returned early, so that I can get some work done on this Monday holiday, while the rest of the crew continued the camping trip. And what better way to celebrate our new found and temporary freedom? Taco Night! It was during the taco feast that P.L. made an excellent observation. She noted that I typically eat “burritos” on taco night. In my defense, I enjoy soft tacos served in flour tortillas and it just so happens that a 10 pack of “soft taco” sized tortillas costs the same as a 10 pack of “extra large burrito” tortillas. So, what makes it a burrito and not a taco? The contents are the same. Perhaps it is the rolling technique. Whereas a traditional taco is folded over once along the median, the burrito is folded on the end(s) and then rolled, securing the tasty ingredients inside. Am I wrong in thinking that if you put meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes in a tortilla, then it is a taco regardless of the folding technique? According to Merriam Webster, a taco is a fried tortilla filled with a mixture, usually meat, cheese, and vegetables. So, if we are going by the dictionary’s definition, then Taco Bell and every other “Mexican” restaurant in this country has been lying to us because soft tacos to not feature a fried tortilla in any fashion. No fried tortilla, not a taco. Traditional Mexican tacos are “soft” because a corn tortillas is fried just enough to give it a little body while retaining flexibility, enough to fold it. I just don’t know what to do. Should I believe what my heart is telling me, that if you put stuff in a tortilla it is a taco, or should I believe the dictionary? What do you think? Please comment and let me know. ~SC

Dear wordpress reader,

I am off to the woods now.

Update on Sunday.

Last night, Pancake Land and I, in our no television state of boredom, went to see the new Star Trek film. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Pancake Land thought it was an entertaining movie, despite her less than enthusiastic views on science fiction. It was not until this morning when something dawned on me. Zachary Quinto, the actor who plays as the young Spock, also plays the character Sylar on the television series Heroes. George Takei, the actor best known for his performances as Commander Hikaru Sulu, also plays the role of Kaito Nakamura on the show Heroes. Coincidence? I, like God, do not play with dice and I don’t believe in coincidences. What does it mean? I have no idea. Probably that Sylar talked to Sulu on set about how big a fan he was and Sulu was like “Damn! You look like Spock! Call my friend he’ll give you the part.” You know what? Who cares? I don’t because they ended up making a great flick. Their casting director should win an Oscar for that shit. Winona Fucking Ryder?! Tyler Fucking Perry?! I really expected to see Peter Coyote before the thing was over. I really could not have asked for a better group of actors to play the original crew. You’ve got Darwin from Smoking Aces as Kirk, Sylar as Spock, Eomer as Bones, Anamaria from Pirates of the Caribbean as Uhura, Harold from Harold and Kumar as Sulu, Charlie Bartlett as Chekov, and Shawn (of the dead) as Scotty. Brilliant. If you have not seen it, pawn your kids off on Gramma and go see it. Or you can call me and I’ll tell you everything that happened and you can just pretend to have seen it. Live long and prosper and whatnot. ~SC

Number one, I’m gonna do this one again. And number one, if you haven’t heard yet, go to http://www.wolframalpha.com/ now. You can read this later. Just go. Okay, now that you’ve been there and have returned we can continue onto number two. But, before we do, I just have to say: Damn! Wasn’t that awesome? Now that we have got that out of the way, we can resume. Yesterday my friend White Chocolate returned from a romantic weekend in the mountains with a gift for me from a place called Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. It was a huge peanut butter cup. So, I did the only logical thing I could do, I went to the gas station and purchased a variety of Reese’s cups and a package of Grandma’s Homestyle Peanut Butter cookies. I proceeded to have Pancake Land do a p.b.c. photo shoot and then build a Jumbo PBC/CS. At this point the JPBC/CS and I did battle and after two meesly bites I was defeated. Pancake Land actually had to step in and stop me from hurting myself any worse than I all ready had. Do not lose faith in me yet, my friends, I came home from work early today and kicked it’s gloating ass. I was going to say something about eating it’s gloating ass, but that sounded a lot dirtier than it was. Anyway, lesson learned. From here on out I will not try to eat ridiculously huge inventions of mine in one sitting. There are lots of photographs today. A couple of new Daily Photographs, a new General Photo and of course the photo shoot that Pancake Land did. We are off to see Star Trek now. I will come back and tell you why you should abandon your own opinion about it and adopt mine. ~SC

So, I unhooked the cable. And hid it. Now Pancake Land is glaring at me as we (a) try to entertain ourselves and (b) try not to kill each other. On a less life threatening note, Reese’s has released dark chocolate miniature peanut butter cups. They are so delicious. I have yet to do any experiments with them, but soon I will. I recently discovered that I am the only dark chocolate eater in the house, so they are safe in the fridge. It is so nice to be able to have a food that can be left in plain sight without the fear of someone eating all of it and without that food being something gross like pickled sausages (sorry to all of you who enjoy pickled sausages). It’s not neccessarily that I am selfish, but I am a little bit, but if I want a Reese’s dark chocolate peanut butter cup, and I went and got a bag of them, and put them in the fridge so they would not be all melty, then I would also like for them to be in the fridge when I go to retrieve them for my eating pleasure. Is that so much to ask? Not anymore. MWHahahahahahaha. Errr. Anyways, as I am typing this, my arm is cramping from the angle at which I must hold my hands to type. What do I do to compensate for a short chair? Sit on a ridiculously thick dictionary. If that doesn’t work? Start adding phonebooks and Sear’s catalogs. Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, I am a little restless. ~SC