Sandwich Control

Before I went to bed last night, I fed Nami an Amodium AD. I was determined to get some sleep. And sleep I did. I was undisturbed from the time I went to sleep until I woke up at 6:00am sharp. I was alert and ready to start my day. I awoke so alert that I could have taken down a ninja or two before getting blinded by glass dust or a cloud of finely ground pepper and then promptly eviscerated by a blackened kunai. I was ready to go. So, I got to Lippincottonia, had my breakfast and coffee, and now you are hearing about it. I have also had a break through in the search for an anniversary gift for Pancake Land, but since she will read this, no spoiler for you. I’ll let you know after it works out. Anywho, I should get the last of June’s Daily Photographs up today. I realized a few days ago that I have taken a lot of them this month. At last count it was 42. Hey, there is no rule against taking more than one a day. Or four a day, like yesterday. Um, yeah. Arguing with no one. Right. Off to work. Shuddup. ~SC

Nami has continued on her current path of liquid pooing every two hours. Except now she wants to wander aroung for about fifteen minutes before she can go. I am going to choke the life right out of her big black neck. I am so exhausted right now. It is taking me forever to self edit. I wanted clear up a little hard drive space yesterday, so I watch a couple of films that I had been sitting on for a while. I watched Le Ballon Rouge, Crin Blanc: Le Cheval Sauvage, and Pied Piper of Hutzovina. All three were excellent. I recommend Pied Piper to anyone who is a Gogol Bordello fan. I don’t really have much more to say right now. I feel like I am trying to type with sardines instead of fingers. Not like canned sardines, but the ones they have at Seaworld that they feed to the dolphins. Big ones. Sardines. Have replaced my fingers. Too early for sardines. They do not sit well with the coffee. Coffee and sardines? Whoever heard of such a thing? More soon. ~SC

I don’t think that there is any amount of coffee that would make me not feel tired right now. Nami decided to wake me up every two hours last night. Having learned my lesson Friday morning, I would take her outside. Each time this would involve: getting dressed, taking her down stairs, leashing her up, and taking her outside for twenty minutes while she peed out of her butt. I could tell when she was done when she would make that sound that the ketchup bottle makes when it is getting empty. Pffffft. I do not know what is wrong with her. Thursday night she was sick, Friday night she was fine, Saturday night she was sick. Maybe now would be a good time to pitch my “Let’s euthanize and taxiderm all the dogs.” idea to Pancake Land. Maybe not. Either way, I am tired. Again. Big surprise. Being a grown-up is stupid. Am I willing to sacrifice my endless stream of taco eating to not be tired? Not a chance. Oh look, coffee. As long as it keeps me vertical, I’ll be okay. I think I might watch The Pied Piper of Hutzovina now. More soon. ~SC

After years of intensive research Dark Wombat finally got a girlfriend. I am still wrapping my head around that. Not so much the fact that he has a girlfriend, more so the fact that she calls him “Mahou no yubi”, which translates, roughly, into “Magic fingers”. The rest of the info, other than there is a girlfriend and she calls him magic fingers, that I managed to squeeze out of him was that her name is Asuka(Eva fans can all giggle now), she works as a receptionist at a hotel, that she is 35 years old, and she, apparently, is in to him. (And apparently he is into her as well.) If DW’s mother is reading this, I am sorry you found out this way. I got to talk to him before he went to bed. I am actually the first person in the States to hear about it. It is only fitting, since I am his oldest friend. 19 years. That’s crazy talk. Anywho. Time and space are bending and Hell is freezing over and there are serious disturbances in the force. No wonder I have been sleeping terribly. I thought it was because Mars and Venus were in Aries, but now I know it is because DW was knocking the boots. My head hurts. More soon. ~SC

Beware this is a tale of epic proportion and horror, the likes of which you have never seen. But first, a little mood music. Maestro, please. (Long pause) Crap. You apparently need an upgrade in order to add an mp3 to a post. (Insert Fantomas’ version of Der Golem here) Movin’ on. It is currently 5:44am. I woke up at 2:00am when Pancake Land came to bed and never went back to sleep. It is not her fault. It is Nami’s fault. Nami is one of our many children. One that happens to be half Great Dane and half Weimaraner. I call her my hundred pound alarm clock. She just so happens to be an alarm clock that goes off at any time she pleases and she just so happened to go off at about 2:15am and continued to go off until 4:00am, when I got up, despite my many attempts to hit the snooze button. Sadly, this is not an unusual occurrence. She wakes up in the middle of the night and gets bored of destroying her bed (and Stoobs’ bed) and starts sounding the alarm. The alarm ranges anywhere from a faint whine to a baying OW-OW(think, opening to Sure Shot by the Beastie Boys, but slower). So, after almost two hours of trying to go back to sleep, I, reluctantly, get up. I get dressed, pack my bag, kiss Pancake Land, feed the dogs, pack my breakfast, and head towards Lippincottonia, where the coffee is. This is when I quickly realize the extent of what kind of day I have ahead of me. I am driving along when I hear the weirdest sound and that’s when the smell reaches my olfactories. That’s right, you guessed it, Nami has unload her bowels in the back seat of my car. Keep in mind how large of a dog that she is. What’s a man to do? Apparently, a man is supposed to be able to clean up a half gallon of semi-liquid dog feces in the back seat of a Volvo at five in the morning without regurgitating the coffee that is keeping him awake. And be able to realize how funny it is. Did I do and say those things? Yes I did. It makes me wonder if this is the peak of the mountain or just the tip of the iceberg. Either way it was a lot of shit. Well, the sun is finally starting to come up. I can go to work now. It is gonna be an early day. Plus, tacos with Mom for lunch. Who’s up for some bean dip? Thank God it’s Friday. More soon. ~SC

P.S. On a brighter note, we reached 2,000 total views yesterday. Thanks, for your continued support. You make this website possible. You, and well, me.

A few weeks ago, the good people over at Ars Brevis Press had asked me to help them clean up and rearrange their shop. So, I did. For my help, they offered to let me print anything I wanted and they would teach me to use their newly acquired platen press. I had only ever used the Vandercook that we had at school (also Ars Brevis Press’) so I was excited to learn a new process. I have been wanting to print some business cards for this here website, so this was the perfect opportunity. Plus the platen press is ideal for printing small things fast. So, yesterday, I headed over to their shop planning only to spend a couple of hours setting type and shooting the breeze and then to return next week to print. I got there picked out my paper, cut it, set my type, and looked at my watch. I had been there less than an hour. So, I got my platen press lesson and away I went. A platen press can be kind of nerve wracking at first, but then you sort of get in this Zen rhythm and before you know it, you’ve printed two hundred business cards. I cleaned my type and the press, sorted my type back into the case, thanked my friends for the lesson (and the free business cards), and was on my way. It wasn’t even five o’clock. Plenty of time to do a bunch of nothing before going to White Chocolate’s house for Wipeout. I still have to cut them down to their designated size, but other than that, these amazing cards are ready for distribution to the masses. I am so excited. Look at how awesome they are.

One stack of business cards, hot off the presses. Or rather, press.

Anywho, it is time for me to go do that thing that I do every morning. Drink coffee and stare into space. A big Thank You to Ars Brevis Press for the great cards and patient tutelage. More soon. Same sandwich time, same sandwich channel. ~SC

FIRE! (Doo doot doo) I feel much better today. The trick is to keep myself busy. So busy, in fact that I collapse into bed at sundown having fallen asleep before I hit the mattress. Getting behind the mule really works. I am going to set some type for and possibly print a run of business cards for Sandwich Control Inc. today. (We’re not really incorporated. I just thought that it sounded kind of pretentious the refer to my self as “the company that is Sandwich Control”. I guess it is six of one and a half dozen of the other.) Anyway, while we are waiting on the logos from Crackoline (line) Clifton Monte Carlo, I need some cards to give to random people that I run into on my rare trips to anywhere that doesn’t start with a W and end with an AL-MART. (I would shop at Le Target but it is all the way across town and with gas prices what they are and in this economy, well, that’s just not the world we live in.) Well, I need to go start the exhausting of myself. More soon. ~SC

I feel strange. I have felt this way for a few days now. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake. I have had the urge to shuffle playing cards. I felt really guilty for not eating chocolate cake for breakfast, although, this morning I ate some to curb the guilt and all I got was a belly ache, at which point I felt guilty for not eating my usual bowl of cereal. I feel very sensitive, both physically and emotionally. It is weird. I guess it does not stop the fact that I have to go to work in a few minutes. Or that the new house needs to be painted and the bisque kiln started or any of the other things that need to be done today. There is an old saying that Le Duke will tell me sometimes when I am feeling down, he’ll look at me like sagelike and say “Suck it up.” Maybe I’ll go wake Taco Planet up with a quick shinai blow to his sunburn. That’ll make me feel better. Maybe tacos for dinner. We shall see. But, first things first. Off to work. More soon. ~SC

How is it Monday again so soon? I don’t feel like I had a weekend at all. It just zipped by. One second it was Friday night and the next thing I know it’s coffee time Monday morning. Well, yeah. Um… so, Pancake Land and I watched True Blood season one last week. It was pretty good. Lots of sex and violence, puns, mystery, mythical creatures. Good stuff. Every episode ended with a huge cliffhanger. Now we just have to wait patiently for seaon two to come out on DVD. Remember? No cable. That and I do not enjoy having to wait until next week to find out what happens next. I like just pushing the next episode button. Of course in true form, season one ended with a huge cliffhanger. Well, I hear the bell tolling. It is time to return to that thing I call work. More soon. ~SC

I just wanted to wish all of you fellows out there a Happy Father’s day. I must now return to the eating of too much food. More soon. ~SC