June 26, 2009 by sandwichcontrol
Beware this is a tale of epic proportion and horror, the likes of which you have never seen. But first, a little mood music. Maestro, please. (Long pause) Crap. You apparently need an upgrade in order to add an mp3 to a post. (Insert Fantomas’ version of Der Golem here) Movin’ on. It is currently 5:44am. I woke up at 2:00am when Pancake Land came to bed and never went back to sleep. It is not her fault. It is Nami’s fault. Nami is one of our many children. One that happens to be half Great Dane and half Weimaraner. I call her my hundred pound alarm clock. She just so happens to be an alarm clock that goes off at any time she pleases and she just so happened to go off at about 2:15am and continued to go off until 4:00am, when I got up, despite my many attempts to hit the snooze button. Sadly, this is not an unusual occurrence. She wakes up in the middle of the night and gets bored of destroying her bed (and Stoobs’ bed) and starts sounding the alarm. The alarm ranges anywhere from a faint whine to a baying OW-OW(think, opening to Sure Shot by the Beastie Boys, but slower). So, after almost two hours of trying to go back to sleep, I, reluctantly, get up. I get dressed, pack my bag, kiss Pancake Land, feed the dogs, pack my breakfast, and head towards Lippincottonia, where the coffee is. This is when I quickly realize the extent of what kind of day I have ahead of me. I am driving along when I hear the weirdest sound and that’s when the smell reaches my olfactories. That’s right, you guessed it, Nami has unload her bowels in the back seat of my car. Keep in mind how large of a dog that she is. What’s a man to do? Apparently, a man is supposed to be able to clean up a half gallon of semi-liquid dog feces in the back seat of a Volvo at five in the morning without regurgitating the coffee that is keeping him awake. And be able to realize how funny it is. Did I do and say those things? Yes I did. It makes me wonder if this is the peak of the mountain or just the tip of the iceberg. Either way it was a lot of shit. Well, the sun is finally starting to come up. I can go to work now. It is gonna be an early day. Plus, tacos with Mom for lunch. Who’s up for some bean dip? Thank God it’s Friday. More soon. ~SC
P.S. On a brighter note, we reached 2,000 total views yesterday. Thanks, for your continued support. You make this website possible. You, and well, me.
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