Sandwich Control

Yesterday, as expected, was pretty uneventful. We ate a lot and sat around a lot. In order to not bore you to death, I will not regale you with the menus of all of our meals, just one. We ate dinner at the Nodding Head, which is one of Philly’s many microbreweries. I had the Buffalo Turkey Burger with bleu cheese. It came with pomme frite and a horseradish mayo for dipping them into. Le Duke had the Meatloaf sandwich and “dirty” fries. I think that the “dirty” just meant covered in mushroom gravy, but I am not 100% certain. Either way, all of it was delicious. Before dinner, we had almost totally set up our booth at the BMAC and then we helped our friend Nina Bernardi set up some of hers. We also shot the breeze for a while with some of the ACG crew. Today is a cloudy day. Hopefully the rain will hold off until I can go and shoot more of the building with sign language painted on it. I saw the building’s entire mural yesterday, and realized that the signs on it are just random and that they don’t say anything in particular. No hidden message. But, since I said that I would photograph it, I will. Last night, when we returned to the hotel, I decided that it was “Metal Night” and played Slayer as loud as my lappy could manage. Le Duke was not thrilled or excited about “Metal Night”. I eventually cancelled “Metal Night” when Le Duke wanted to go to sleep. Anywho, I had better get a move on if I want to stay ahead of this weather. More soon. ~SC

Update: The building has a lot of sign language on it. It also has braille. Under each of the words/letters it says what it is in written English. And for the record it was U-X-K and, unseen at the time, at the bottom was F.

Mystery solved.

I, and whoever else is doomed to fly with me, have the worst flying luck. I am not saying that every plane I am on goes down, knock on wood, but they get delayed or canceled. This trip, the god whose name must have been drawn from the hat for airplane delays, must have Loki. Our flights go as follows: We arrive at our hometown airport and check in, La Duchess leaves and we wait for 45 minutes for the security check point to open, then our flight to Dallas is delayed 35 minutes, then as we are about to land in Dallas we take off again because we have not used enough fuel and are too heavy to land, this adds another 15 minutes to that flight. Due to the late departure time and the flying around to burn fuel, we have enough time to get to our connecting flight, but not to eat lunch. We board the plane to Philly, they close the doors and then inform us that due to inclement weather in New England and other planes need of our jet bridge, we will have to sit on the tarmac for an hour or so and wait for permission to take off from Philly’s airport, that clearance comes only moments after the first announcement, much to our delight, and we take off. We fly for about 2 hours when the announcement comes that due to weather in New York and New Jersey, flights destined for those airports are being rerouted to Philly, thus clogging their airport. Therefore, we have to fly in a “holding pattern” over Virginia for an hour. We finally get permission to arrive in Philly and so we start the final hour of flying. We land in Philly and are then informed that lightning has struck “the ramp” and that it is protocol if lightning strikes that ground crew go inside and wait for someone to say it is okay for them to come back outside again. So, we sit on the tarmac and wait for at least half an hour. Then their parents, seeing that there was no more lightning, said it was okay for the ground crew to come out to play. In the course of the flight, I read the entirety of The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Keep in mind that I am a very slow reader. At some point, due to no food and sitting still, I became very tired. Luckily they had started the “beverage service” on the flight. I remembered that I had a small bag of cookies in my bag and I ate them with my soda. I was so inspired by McCarthy’s writing or so groggy from the flight that I made a note in my notebook after consuming my snack. “Harvesting the empty nutrients, and glucose, and caffeine from Bite-Size Vienna Cremes and a Coca-Cola. Like taking communion. The body and blood of our gods, Corn and Soy.” Wow. It was an intense flying experience. Thankfully the baby and child that were behind us only screamed some of the time. While we were waiting for the ground crew to come back out, the entire passenger body did things in unison. First, they talked on their cell phones. Then, they read the on-board magazine.  They even sighed collectively when the pilot announce that we were about to deboard. To keep me entertained, whilst all of this waiting was happening, were two things. My nagging desires to pee and then eat a cheeseburger and this young bald guy who was a math teacher. He was talking very loudly and excitedly about mathematics and the problems facing mathematics teachers. It was quite enthralling. That is how I fly. At some point, I tried to start reading The Teacher’s Funeral, but could not get into it and instead switched to The Giver. It is pretty good so far. Well, we arrived and ate cheeseburgers. And then slept. We ate our complimentary breakfast and it is currently almost 9:00am and we are stuck twiddling our thumbs until 1:00pm when they open the show floor for setup. I might go doing some photograph taking. Looking out of the window in our room I see a building with sign language on it. I am very rusty, but I think it says UXK. I don’t know what the top right word is. Somebody back me up.

I am sure it reads "This space for rent".

More soon. ~SC

On the outskirts of town, somewhere beneath the abandoned umbrella factory, deep in the Cavern of Warmness, our hero makes the final preparations for a great adventure to the city of brotherly love. Armed only with his rocket pack full of gadgetry, he will face and fight his arch nemesis: ladies man, and fellow letter presser, Benjamin Franklin. Unbeknownst to our hero, but beknownst to everyone else, Ben Franklin was in in possesion of the ancient weapon, the Thunderrod. Will our hero defeat the debaucherous Franklin? Will he find the hidden Reese’s cup? Will he be able to get to the mint in order to complete his precious state quarters collection? Find out next time on the Sandwich Control radio mystery and adventure hour. More from Philly. ~SC

Today I am like a little kid the day before going to summer camp. I feel like just going and standing at the car for the next 24 hours. I am excited to get this show on the road, as it were. This show determines whether or not I have work to do for the next six months. No pressure, though. Today I have to finish the packing process and think about what we are forgetting. I also need to burn a couple of copies of Le Duke’s EP for some BMAC friends. I also have to drink this cup of coffee and make a poop (or two). I do not really feel stressed out, but I know that I am. I am craving junk food. Which then leads to awesome body acne breakout. Stress + Greezzy Junk Food = Trucker Bumps. Let me tell you, having trucker bumps on the backs of arms does not make you feel sexy. It is a good thing that Pancake Land is blessed with a skill called lying. “Honey, do my trucker bumps gross you out and repulse you sexually?” “No, dear. I find you attractive, trucker bumps and all.” Isn’t she sweet? I know. Anywho, enough about my trucker bumps. I’ve got stuff to do. More soon, probably from Philly. ~SC

La Duchess’ hard drive is busted. Luckily we have all of the information backed up else where. This is not the first hard drive failure in Lippincottonian history. Nor will it be the last. I saw something very strange yesterday. Like most things that I see or hear about, naturally, I assume that it is old news. Therefore, I run everything by Pancake Land who is typically up to speed on everything. I was driving home after cutting paper and working on computers in Lippincottonia and there was this person on a bicycle who was holding up traffic. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the cyclist’s fault, it was the oncoming traffic’s. Anyway, I took a detour which provided me the opportunity to see one of the Buddhist temples here in town. I have driven by it many times, but yesterday was the first time I had ever noticed what was across the street. There is a flat top, gray painted, cinder block building with black canvas awnings over the windows and door. Printed in white on the black canvas are the initials PMC. There is a sign out front that reads: Progressive Men’s Club. I immediately thought is was a shady gay club. When I ask P.L. what is up with the PMC, she is stared at me blankly. Whew! I am not left out again. So, both of us intrigued at this point, we decide to consult the all-knowing innernet to find out what’s up. It turns out that a group of guys got together and decided that the neighborhood kids did not have many positive male role models and so, they formed a group. They go out and do good deeds. They mow grass and do handyman work for people in need. They also attend church as a group. They do lots of stuff as a group. I don’t know which is stranger to me, the PMC being a shady gay club in the middle of a neighborhood, across the street from a beautiful Buddhist temple or an organized group of do-gooders who attend church as a collective unit. On a different note, ha ha, I got all of the covers for my little notebooks cut and folded. All I have left to do is fold and assemble the text blocks and sew the books together. Slow and steady. Well, I am going to go get ready to work. I leave in two days for Philadelphia to do the big wholesale show. Updates will probably happen, but don’t hold your breath. More soon. ~SC

So, my sister’s test went well. I think she had, overall, a good birthday. I just realized that starting in about a week, the ridiculous flood of August birthdays begins. Seriously, there are only 19 days next month that I don’t have a birthday down for. At last 2 days are double birthdays. Leos and Virgos everywhere. Anyways, I, surprisingly, have lots to do today. I need to pick vegetables or else the squash plants will take over the house. I need to recut covers for notebooks because the 140lb stock is too heavy. I need to fix the La Duchess’ computer problems. I need to continue the making of little notebooks. I need to call Dark Wombat to see how is eye check up went. I need to start preliminary packing for Philly. So much time, so little to do. Wait. Stop. Reverse that. I am off to get it done. More soon. ~SC

I would like all of you to wish my sister a Happy Birthday today. In celebration of her birthday she is taking a math test to confirm the fact that is competent enough to teach math to 8th graders. So send some good math test taking skills her way instead of buying her a gift, which is exactly the route I went. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to buy her a gift, it’s that I cannot afford to. So, I am giving her good vibes via myself and all of you. Therefore, from 10:00am until let’s say 1:00 pm I expect all of you to be wearing your good vibe sending tin foil hats. I mean it. For those of you who know me, I bet you are wondering why I always talk about my sister, but never talk about my brother(s). Well, three of my brothers I rarely see or talk to. Now, Prince Jazzbo, my only full-blooded sibling, the rest are mudbloods, I see and talk to pretty regularly. We don’t hang out nearly as much as my sister and I do, though. When we do hang out, it is usually all three of us. It’s not that Jazz and I do not get along, it’s just that we are busy in different directions. If he is not working or on call or in Ohio for training, he is trying to get some rest or take care of his other grown responsibilities, like yard work or cleaning house or drinking rum. Teacher Sis has slaves, i.e. children, to do some of those things, minus the rum drinking, so her time to run around with me is a little more free. I do not have to worry about doing those things because I do them before you get up in the morning. It’s not that I don’t want to sleep in, in fact I slept in until 7:00am this morning, it’s that my 100 pound alarm clock goes off sometime between 5:00am and 6:30am and the snooze button doesn’t work that well. Currently both of my siblings have left me in town alone. Jazz is in Ohio, Sis is in Arkadelphia. All alone. I guess I’ll work on notebooks or read. Happy Birthday Sis. More soon. ~SC

Well, I feel a million times better today. Sometimes, you just need to have a “ME” day. Yesterday was it. I worked and ate in Lippincottonia until about 1:30pm and then I made some slabs for the television tiles and then I decided to go cruising on my trike for a little bit. I headed to the school and was finishing my second lap when I ran into K from Ars Brevis Press and she asked if I could help her print for a minute. I said “Of course.”. We ended up working on the press more than we printed, but regardless, it was very cathartic for me to just be in the print shop again. I know that if I start feeling crumby again I can go there and sort some type and that will probably snap me right out of it. So, anyway, we wrapped up the printing and I headed home to Holliday Island. I made Pancake Land and I a fine feast of fish sticks and mini corndogs with broccoli florets and Sponge Bob mac-n-cheese (they were out of the spirals, my personal favorite, at the store). I then watched Stranger than Fiction whilst eating my dinner. I really enjoy that movie. I think what really sold that movie to me was (Spoiler Alert!) when he brought her flours. That whole scene was clever and heartfelt and just brilliant. That movie has the same effect on me as does Le fabuleux destin d’Amelie Poulain. They make me feel like everything is going to be okay. After the movie I did my sit-ups, walked the dogs, tricked Pancake Land into having coffee with me, ate again, and went to bed. Overall, it was excellent. The only thing that is bothering me now is the damned fleas. All of the dogs are just covered with them. It doesn’t matter how much we medicate or collar or spray or bathe, the fleas are just terrible. I think that it has a lot to do with the weather changing from to hot to cool multiple times this summer. Just when it gets really hot and the fleas start disappearing, the weather cools down and here they come again. Well, the bells of work are tolling. I am off to paint something. More soon. ~SC

This is the 100th post! Woo! As most of you know, I’ve been in a funky mood lately, well, today I am making an effort to defunktify. I have put together a handful of activities that usually put me in a better mood and I plan on doing as much of that as possible. I don’t know if it is part of the funk or what, but lately I feel like someone is watching me. It’s weird. Anywho, the first weapon in my defunking arsenal is to bring the rock Wesley Willis style (minus the schizophrenia and the head smashing) by loading the mp3 player up with Queen, Zeppelin, Sabbath, and AC/DC. That should get this ball rolling in the right direction. Then, for second breakfast and for first lunch, comfort foods galore. Maybe for second lunch, I’ll get tacos. Then tonight, a feel-good flick and maybe I can talk Pancake Land into having some “coffee” with me. Mmm….coffee. That should do the trick. To tell you the truth, I am feeling much better just thinking about it. Now for an update from our creative corner! I have got a couple of new ideas brewing for some Daily Photographs that I want to shoot. I am also working on an idea for a new short film and a contest for you, the loyal reader. I am still trying to figure out the Podcast making process so, as soon as I do, you will be able to get more of my ridiculous ramblings in a new and exciting format. The notebooks are slowly creeping into existence. Folding and hand sewing hundreds of little notebooks takes time. Plus, I can’t decide if I want to do a three hole or a five hole spine (which I know you are soooo fascinated by). In addition to the stuff I have mentioned before, I am working on decorative clay tiles that bare striking resemblance to little televisions. Anywho, I am off to work now. I’ll speak more at you soon. (I’ll speak more at yo mama soon!) Umm, yeah. ~SC

For the past two days I have felt, overall, crappy. Moody, tired, unmotivated, overly emotional. Yes, I have been a high school girl for the past two days. Not really. The weirdest part of it is that I am constantly hungry. Not like “Man, I could go for some Chinese food right about now.”, but more like “I must eat the buffet. All of it. Sneeze guards and all. Must eat. Must eat.”. I don’t know if it is the general crappiness that makes me want to comfort myself by gorging or if it is the general lack of energy that has me craving food energy. Maybe it is my giant parasitic intestinal worm. I don’t know. Whatever it is, it is stupid. I feel a little better today, so we shall see if it has passed. On a different note, I have been a little constipated, both physically and emotionally, recently, so I decided to eat a couple of the Fiber Plus bars for breakfast yesterday to get things moving. I got the Dark Chocolate and Almonds ones and oh my God are they delicious. Other than allowing me a deliciously decadent poop inducing breakfast, they also allow me to feel like I am eat a candy bar for breakfast, which I am. If I had a Coke, it would be just like high school. Ahhhhhhh, junk food breakfast, how I miss you. If only they had a Coke that had ten grams of fiber in it (give it time), I could probably convince myself to drink it with breakfast. Well, on the way over here to Lippincottonia, my muffler decided to fall down and drag all the way here, so I have to go put that mess back together now. Tonight is Wipeout at White Chocolate’s house. Hooray! More soon. ~SC