December 17, 2009 by sandwichcontrol
As some of you know, I have a very important lunch meeting today. One that could potentially change the course of my life. And of course, one that I cannot really talk about in detail until tomorrow.
And there you have it, your early morning cock tease. Don’t you hate that? Deep down, you know you love it.
As far as everything else goes, were are pretty much coasting until next Thursday. Next Thursday is, of course, the day when Sweet Baby Jesus rides into town on his magical red-nosed jackaloupe and fills all of the good boy’s and girl’s clogs with everything from their Amazon wishlists, namely the entire Tom Waits discography on LP. Presnents!
Hey, now that I think about it, I pretty much know what everyone got for Grismas. For some insane reason, people think that I can keep a secret. Hello. Hi. I don’t think we’ve met. The name’s Sandwich Control. I publish people’s secrets on the innernet.
For a small fee, I will gladly write about what you are getting for Grismas in the following day’s post. If you pay me today, tomorrow your gift(s) will be revealed right here on the innernet. Just so you know, I am willing to negotiate on price. Watch out, though, I’m a wily devil. I might just crawfish on you and tell you the wrong thing. That’s the chance you take.
I think this Grismas is going to be a good one. For me. Not for you. I am getting way more presnents and letters of adoration than you. This year I might just win Grismas. Not if Pancake Land has anything to do with it.
Speaking of Pancake Land, I think that when she came to bed last night we had a very brief ridiculous conversation that, perhaps, went something like this: (Keep in mind that I was asleep.)
“I’m going to break the world record tomorrow.”
“Oh, yeah. Break the world record for what?”
“Who holds the record now?”
“I do. I broke it a while back and I’m going to break it again tomorrow. You should call Guiness.”
I am such a ridiculous person sometimes. It makes me gag a little bit. Anyways, I gotta get to work if I am going to get everything done before lunch. Wish me luck. More soon. ~SC
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