What In God's Name Is That Smell?


January 15, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

The answer to that question is: The flatus coming out of Stooby’s anus. I have finally come up with a very accurate description of the smell for those of you who are fortunate enough to not ever have to smell one of Stooby’s farts. Imagine, if you will, that you eat a dozen eggs, and them you poop them out. Then, a skunk made out of cabbage eats your egg poop. Then, a Chinaman kills the skunk and pan fries it in fish oil. That’s what they smell like. I have taken to Febreezing her back end. It’s all I can do to not dry heave. I will be so happy when the dogs don’t have to sleep in the bedroom anymore. You can tell that you are getting older when you stop fantasizing about being the suntan lotion boy on the Hawaiian Tropic tour bus and start fantasizing about fenced yards with dog houses.

Well, today is Friday and that means that my new article is up on the City Wire. Be sure to check it out.

It also means that I am going to lunch with Word to Me. At least I hope I am. I probably need to call and make sure. I was telling her that other day that I am very excited about this coming June. She asked what was happening in June and I told her that is when the new phone books come out. I am actually looking forward to scanning the new Yellow Pages for an updated restaurant list. It’s like Grismas all over again. How dorky is that?

I dreamt the other night that Megan Fox burned my house down because I would not play marbles with her. It was a weird dream.

I wish I knew when Season 7 of Top Chef was going to start.

So, a week from yesterday, next Thursday, Pancake Land, Little Peddler, White Chocolate, and Mellie Mel are leaving for Las Vegas to celebrate White Chocolate’s, err, um, 21st Birthday. While they are away, the boys will play. I have made a date with my S.A.N.D. brethren to eat at Emmy’s German Restaurant on Friday night and I think me and G-man are planning an excursion to some steakhouse or BBQ joint probably on Saturday. Both places that I eat at will end up being reviewed I’m sure. I also heard from my editor that I should be getting my business cards sometime next week. I’ll be extra official then.

Well, it is that time again. Time to go blow my nose. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. More soon. ~SC


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