Stuck In A Perpetual Johnny Lawrence State.


February 22, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

So, Nicky the Cook won again. Bastard. I got so close and he crane kicked me in the face right at the last moment. I got second, D-Man got third, and Shamrock, yet again, held his title of “I try my best” champion. It seems as though D-Man and I are the only ones really competing. We just keep flip flopping in the middle. I feel really confident that if I had used better bread, then I would have won it. I got high marks on everything except the bread, which got really low marks. That’s what I get for using all really good ingredients, except for my bread, the most important thing in French toast and in life in general, which I opted for a generic loaf of French bread from the Wal*Mart bakery. I’m so stupid sometimes. Well, that’s the breaks I guess.

I would say that I would make up for it next time, but we all agreed that there should never ever be another French toast off. After we did the initial judging, we sat down to eat like we would normally do and we all made it about five bites into the meal before the first groans of fullness began. We were stuffed. We decided to stick to savory foods from now on. Too much sugary starch, not enough savory. Of course, had we prepared bacon or sausage to go along with the French toast, none of us could have squeezed it into our bellies. We did the tasting plates a little differently this time as well. Check them out:

a) D-Man b) Nicky the Cook c) Shamrock d) Sandwich Control

I could go on and on about Nicky’s use of a yellow cake mix to make his banana bread and D-Man’s Challah and Shamrock’s giant strawberries, but just thinking about the whole thing again is starting to make me a little nauseous.

You may be wondering what ridiculous cook-off we S.A.N.D. jerks are plotting next. Well after much debate, ten minutes or so, we decided to have a Beans-and-Cornbread-off. To level the playing field, there will one cornbread, which I will be providing. This way the beans are the shining star of the event. Once again, my evil genius wheels are a turnin’. Mwhahahaha….

Anywho, I think one of those jerks gave me a cold. My throat is all scratchy. Great. Orange juice here I come. The good news is that Stoobs finally figured out the doghouse thing. So, my both of my dogs are now sleeping in their houses! Also, Nami’s barking has been decreased by at least half, which is so nice.

Today, Taco Planet and I get to drive all the way to Little Rock and back to deliver a couple of pieces of pottery for Le Duke. You see, Le Duke has been nominated as a “Living Treasure” in the state. Yeah, I know. Anyway, he has to submit a few pieces of his work to the council who decides whether or not he actually is a “Living Treasure” and it is my job to ensure that those pieces are delivered. Why I did not ship them, I do not know. What are you gonna do? He’s the boss. As far as the rest of the week goes, probably a lot of tile work. Great. It pays the bills I guess. Le Duke once shared an old Yiddish saying with me that helps me make it through tough situations. Whenever I am feeling down or not wanting to do something because it sucks, I just tell myself what Le Duke told me.

“Suck it up.”

Right. With that in mind, I’m off to get ready for work. More soon. ~SC


  1. nicky the cook says:

    sorry for the cold, but you have such soft, honey flavored lips.

  2. Word to Me says:


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