February 7, 2010 by sandwichcontrol
Pancake Land has been reading this ridiculous, even by her standards, romantic suspense novel and last night she read aloud to me to try and force me to stop trying to cop a feel and go to sleep since it was way past my bedtime. In addition to lines about a goblin’s nightmares there was also something about a sex scene involving a woman inserting her hyper sensitive lady part into the urethral meatus of her male love interest. I have never heard of anything so insane in my life. That was one way that they “spiced up” their sex life. Keep in mind that their sex life had only begun 8 hours before this insane and terribly incorrect sex act. If they need that kind of spicing up after only 8 hours, it is only a matter of time before one of them asphyxiates after their lungs fill with the reproductive fluids of a barn yard animal. According to their current time schedule, in about three hours.
Well, now that we have that shocker out of the way, have another, just for good measure.
Yesterday we got a lot accomplished. I got the refrigerator water issue solved, Jackie the Mick fixed Big Red, Furious Jessy helped us get a bunch of our crap moved to the new house, Teacher Sis and her crew painted and cleaned up the joint, Prince Jazzbo worked on a bunch of electrical stuff, and I managed to not freak out. Overall I would say it was a good day. There are 3 things that I want to move today.
1) The Couch.
2) The Loveseat.
3) The Piano.
That’s it. I realize that it is Superbowl Sunday and that despite my friends not giving a crap about football, it is an opportunity to hop from one beer and Buffalo wings party to the next. My plan is to move this stuff as early as possible thereby allowing them the freedom to drink as many Milwaukee’s Best Lights as they wish this afternoon. My focus whilst the rest of the free world watches ridiculously well-payed fully grown men in heavy padding try not to beat the crap out of each other is to move my record collection and finish emptying my office of the things that I will not need for my trip to Philly next week.
Oh, I meant to tell you, Furious Jessy has a new Web Log. She sent me the link the other day and I forgot to mention it. It’s called Here Be Dragons. It is pretty excellent. You should check it out.
All right, no time for love Dr. Jones. More soon. ~SC
Category Normal Life | Tags: