Thoughts On Joining A Pit Crew.

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February 26, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

First off today, the new article is up on the City Wire. You should check it out.

Now, let’s talk about how stupid it is for have tires that are filled with air on our cars. It’s stupid. Okay, now that we have had that discussion, I can tell you about what has happened since we last spoke. Yesterday morning, shortly after typing at you, I headed to work in Big Red. Big Red has had a slow leak in the front right tire for a while now and yesterday it decided to go totally flat. Of course, this would be the one day that I don’t check it before driving it. So, I back out of the driveway, drive a few feet and then promptly pull into the parking lot of one of the many fast food joints that are near my house and discover that the tire is totally flat and now, thanks to my neglect, partly off the rim. Awesome. Did I mention that it’s really cold?

I then return home, i.e. fifty feet, park Big Red, hop on my trike and head to work. Did I mention that it’s really cold? And that I am sick? Even more awesome. I proceed to work for a handful of hours until I can get SteveDee’s jack via Prince Jazzbo. I get the jack and immediately discover that it won’t work due to the rounded nature of Big Red. At which point, I use the scissor jack that I’ve had all along. Luckily, by this point in the day, it has warmed up considerably. We get the tire off, and I then wait two hours at the tire place for them to patch it. This two hours was made bearable only because Prince Jazzbo was there getting an oil change and tire’s for his work truck. Misery loves company.

Anyway, cut to two hours later. I get the tire back on and we head over to Little Peddler’s for dinner. As soon as we get out of the truck at LP’s house, I hear the serpentine hissing of the damned tire leaking air. Luckily, Taco Planet was there and he had the jack and tools, that I had used earlier, with him in the van. I then began the ridiculously difficult task of getting the spare tire off of Big Red. A task that takes forever and is exhausting, hence why I had not done this earlier. Before I put the spare on I have the brilliant forethought to check the air pressure in it, which was low, and I whip over to the fill-in station with it via G-Man’s van. I air it up, return to the hoisted Big Red and swap the tires out. Awesome. By the time I get done with this second tire change it is 8:30 and getting cold again.

I was surprised that I had trouble falling asleep since I felt utterly exhausted. I don’t particularly love the idea of having to wait another two hours for them to fix my tire again. Hopefully they won’t charge me for it again, since I have already paid them to fix it. Jerks.

At his point, I could say something about the speed and accuracy at which I changed the second tire, but I’m over it. I could also draw attention to the parallels between the accuracy by which pit crew workers put a tire, with its five tiny holes, onto a car, with its five tiny bolts, and the joy that theirs wives feel at never having to help their husbands “find their way in”. Or I could not talk about it and just let your imaginations do the rest.

Well, today is Friday and that means lunch with Word to Me. Hopefully I won’t gorge myself at lunch, because Pancake Land and I are supposed to get chinese take-out from Hong Kong Chinese tonight. Mmm… pork dumplings.

I probably should put some clothes on now. It is kinda cold in here. More soon. ~SC


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