Bearing A Striking Resemblance To Navin R. Johnson.


May 25, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

Do you remember that seen in The Jerk when Steve Martin flips out over the guy delivering the phone book? That was me yesterday. I was running around the house like a kid on Grismas morning. You may be asking yourself “Why on Earth would someone be that excited over the new phone book?” Well, let me assure you that it is not because I am excited about my name being in it. I have been looking forward to the new phone book coming out since December of last year. My reason for this is quite simple: I am a food critic. When the new phone book comes out, the restaurant section gets updated. The updating of the restaurant section helps me wipe away restaurants that have closed their doors and allows me to replace them with restaurants that have just opened their doors. I must keep my “to do” list up to date. You would be surprised by how many joints have closed their doors since the last phone book came out. So, when I arrived home yesterday afternoon, I did the new phone book dance of great joy and much air humping. It is an ancient and much revered dance that is not to be done lightheartedly.

So yesterday was sprinkled with exciting new things and disappointments. The willow branches that I have been trying to get to root came through for me and I got them planted out in the back forty of Lippincottonia. I also went to Best buy to swap my semi-busted iPod and Pancake Land’s totally busted camera for replacements. This is where the drizzle of disappointments begins. So they swapped my iPod out for a new one. This rocks because I had a fourth generation Nano and the fifth generations are all they carry, so I got upgraded. I also renewed the 2 year coverage on that bad boy. The bad news is that my hard cover for my old iPod doesn’t fit correctly on the new iPod. I paid $5 for that hard case when I got that iPod and I felt like I was being robbed then. Now hard cases start at $15. This is ridiculous. Remind me to pay Body Glove Inc. a visit and punch their stupid faces. It is a tiny, card stock thin, piece of acyrlic. How can it possibly cost $15? And that’s the cheapest one. I saw some that were $35. So that is disappointment one.

Disappointment two was when they told me that they could not do anything about the camera, in the store, because it was purchased online. What kind of sense does that make? It’s all Best Buy, right? Topping off my Best Buy trip was the fact that the guy waiting on me, moved in slow motion and was, I am fairly certain, mildly mentally retarded. Next time I see him, punched. In the face.

Disappointment three occurred when I went to WalMart* to get some chimichangas for Pancake Land. The entire shelf where the chimichangas live was totally empty, save for two packages of the “Spicy Bean & Cheese”, which P.L. had specifically told me not to get. Also, no better luck in the iPod hard case department.

After all of this bad luck, all I wanted was a nice big piece of the Red Velvet cake that I made the other day, an episode of Angel, and to the hit the sack. So this is when disappointment four hits. My cake, the one that I had my heart set on, has mold on it. I should have put it in the fridge.

I still haven’t managed to clean my Chacos so that I can send them back, but I am making a concerted effort to get it done today. I also need to work on rebuilding a gallery or two today as well. I guess I should get to work instead of typing at you. Um, yeah. More soon. ~SC


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