Who Wants A Kitten Massage? Kitten Massage.


June 7, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

It is the strangest thing. Every morning, Eazy forgets where the doodoo box is. I caught him one morning trying to poo in the corner. A couple of days later, I found some poo in the same corner. It is always really early in the morning. So, lately I have been watching him like a hawk. He always makes like he going to poo in the box and then doesn’t, and about fifteen minutes later I find him wandering off by himself. Whether he is going to look for a place to take a dump or not, I am not sure. Whatever he is up to, I’m sure it’s not good. This is the point where I grab him and roll him onto his back and give him “special ‘ttentions” which involves a kitten massage. Imagine if you were lying on your back on top of two giant hands. Then, they give you a back rub. For some reason this always stimulates kitten bowels. Anyway, I learned this trick while undergoing the First Experiment with Test Subjects 1. Pick them up, give them special ‘ttentions on the way to poo box, and voila instant pooping kitten. Maybe it is so relaxing that it makes them need to poo. Maybe I actually stimulate their bowels. Maybe it is like an icing bag and I end up squeezing the poo out. Whatever it is, it works.

It is so stupid early right now. You know that pull that you feel really early in the morning? The pull of the bed calling you back to it? I feel that right now. I’m sitting here typing and I can feel myself swaying because of the pull. It is like a siren calling me to my own destruction. It says to me:

“Just a few more minutes won’t hurt anything. You won’t be late for chemistry. There will be plenty of time for all you have to do before you go to class. Just come lay down for a few more minutes. You’re very tired. You need to rest. You deserve to rest after working so hard.”

The bed is an evil evil thing. Well, um. It is Monday and that means that I am very tired from laying around all day yesterday. I did manage to do some stuff in spite of all the laying around. I got the garden weeded and my article roughed in. Whoo! I even glanced at my chemistry once. Be thankful that I don’t have subscripts in my “custom characters” window of my writer’s toolbox on here. If I had subscripts I could write out chemical formulas and that would take this thing to a whole new level of nerdiness. But luckily I do not have subscripts.

I am so delirious right now. I should probably go get ready for class. I washed my backpack this weekend, so I need to go repack it. More soon. ~SC

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