This Looks Like A Job For Incognegro, Mistress Of Disguise.


September 25, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

The other day I went to wash Ava and decided to do that automatic car wash business. It was only $4 and I didn’t have to get out of the truck. The truck wasn’t that dirty so the autowash did the job sufficiently. What surprised me about the autowash was the time it took to run its course. It didn’t take an hour or anything, but it took between five and ten minutes. This bit of information struck me in a weird way and it has rolling around in the echo-y halls of my subconscious until last night. Last night I was sitting outside smoking, watching a car go through the autowash, when I had a brilliant idea. Here, follow my logic and see if you get to the same place I did.

a) Given the relatively high amount of humidity in this area, when the autowash is running at night it creates a cloud around the car being washed making it virtually impossible to see inside of it.

b) Given the fact that you are relatively trapped in a running, and possibly air conditioned, car for between five and ten minutes (depending on the car wash package you paid for), you are lacking any obligations and could use an activity to occupy this time period.

Okay so:

Mist of Invisibility + Lack of Responsibility + Required Attendance = Carwash Quickie

It is this scientist’s understanding that, given the proper amount of time and the ideal environmental conditions, you could have speed sex in your car while it is in the automatic carwash. Talk about multitasking. Let me just clarify really quickly, this is still in the “Hypothesis Based On Observation” phase and not in the “Theory Based On Empirical Data” phase.

With any luck, my assistant (Pancake Land) and I will get the grant that we applied for, and then we can afford to fund this experiment. Because we all know that you can’t just run one experiment and prove a hypothesis. You have to test it thousands of times. Maybe you, my devoted reader, will help out with this experiment. Would you do that for me? Awesome. Be sure that either you or your assistant takes rigorous notes while conducting the experiment and then just send me copies of your findings when you are done. I’ll work on compiling them for future generations of scientists. I really appreciate your help in this. I couldn’t do it without you.

Well, needless to say, I will not be starting that experiment today. Pancake Land has feetball to watch today. It actually works out pretty well for me because I have got to finish getting my laboratory/office organized today. Having boxes of crap everywhere is frustrating when you are trying to get things done. Plus, I’m a pacer. I pace around constantly. Having big totes all over the lab/office is killing my ability to walk in frantic circles. Other than the organizing, I need to do some Trig homework and do a little refreshing on the layout of a California Job Case. My weekend is looking to be a laid back event. Thank God.

Well, I’m going to get to organizing. Let me know how the experiment goes. More soon. ~SC

1 comment »

  1. ….And when you all get tired of doing nothing, come down to the garden for an Elvis art auction…….

    Check out the garden website! Get your butt in gear & come to the garden!!!! LOL

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