Revenge is a Meal Best Served Rolled.


October 22, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

Good morning all. It is Friday and that means that I can sleep in to a lazy 8:30 tomorrow. Hooray! It also means that my new article is up on the City Wire. You can read it by clicking here. Enjoy.

Yesterday I accomplished so much. I totally bombed my Zoology test, I finished the huge section of horrible dialect in the book that I am reading now, I nodded my head quite vigorously in Trig, I organized and build shelves in the Letterpress shop, I built some stairs from my office to the garage (with a lot of help from Le Duke and Operation B), made a giant sexy Cobb salad, watched an episode of Bones, got White Chocolate hooked on both watching and playing Katamari, and then went to bed later than I would have liked.

While I played Katamari, Pancake Land explained the concept, and my quirky behavior while playing, to White Chocolate. She made a point of telling her that I always take great pleasure in exacting revenge on the things that attacked me or slowed me down. In my mind, these slights were intentional and retribution is called for. It was while she was explaining all of this to W.C. that the title of today’s post popped into my head. Sometimes I have to just not say them out loud to avoid the groans from the people in earshot.

Let me tell you, very few things have given me more joy than rolling up that damned toy bear that walks around and B-lines it for me when he sees me. You know the one I mean? The one inside the house. I think it is on star 3 or 4. I hate that bear.

Also, if I had a real Katamari, I would roll over to AT&T and start rolling up cars in the parking lot until someone refunded me the $4 that they charged me to use Directory Assistance. Assholes. I could have gone to the store and ask the questions face to face for less than four dollars.

I haven’t started fantasizing about having a Katamari as much as I fantasize about having Wolverine’s claws, yet. I imagine that it is only a matter of time. Of course the whole Adamantium thing sort of fits me really well, so what are you gonna do? Build a Katamari out of Adamantium?! With retractable claws?! It’ll be like those remote controlled monster trucks with the claws in the tires. The ones from my childhood. Brilliant.

Well, look at the time. Now back at me. Now back at the Time. Now specifically at Morris Day. Jungle Love. More soon. ~SC

1 comment »

  1. Dave says:

    Best post inna minute. You were on one this morn.
    I was thinking poisoned sushi at first. It was so much better than that. A katamari ball MADE of wolverine claws. I’d roll that fucker right over all over this land. Starting with BP and ending up somewhere on the other side of student loans.

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