Sometimes, You Need To Punch That Pussy In the Face.

1

October 10, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

While Taco Planet is out of town, we’ve got his cat Leopold. Leopold is an asshole. He likes to climb on my things while I am asleep and jar me into the awakened state by knocking things off of tables, dressers, etc. I live in a constant state of “There is a burglar in my house”. I think that at this point, if a burglar were to break in, I’d probably sleep through. That is, unless he or she climbed on my chest and tried to sleep on my face. Then, like Leopold, they’d get a punch in their little pussy face. Asshole. At least Eazy and Kingston will crawl into a little nook and go to sleep. Leopold seems Hellbent on chewing on my shitty beard.

Dear Leopold,

My beard looks crappy enough as it is. It does not need any help looking crappy, so please stop chewing off pieces of it while I’m sleeping.

Sincerely,

Sandwich Control

Now, concerning yesterday’s post, I would like to clarify a few things that seemed to be misconstrued in my crappy attempt to write anything while half asleep.

1) Pancake Land was not in any way upset with White Chocolate’s behavior. She, in fact, got quite a giggle from it and in someways was jealous of not being in that frame of mind with her.

2) I am in no way judging my friends for drinking. (Strangers, on the other hand, I readily judge.) I was just stating a variety of my personal observations about the interactions between sober people and drunk people. If you got a little butthurt about my empirical findings, because you are a sensitive little nelly, sorry for the confusion. I will make it up to you by helping you iron your skirt and change your feminine napkins. If these last few statements have offended you further, it probably means that the Russian version of Cinderella applies to you (see Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country for reference).

3) Is it just me, or does everyone else want to hear Dave’s poop stories?

On a toadally different note, Prince Jazzbo had on a BattleToads t-shirt the other day. Awesome.

Hey, if you didn’t know, I totally love Pancake Land. Do you want to know what she did? Even though she has absolutely no interest in watching Bones, she queued them for me on NetFlix. That’s love, man.

The past few days, since I ran out of Bones to watch, I’ve been terribly bored. In my bored state, I have decided that I want to play Katamari. So, I called up Sweet Bread and he loaned me Katamari Damacy for Playstation 2. Guess what. Doesn’t play on my Playstation 3. Lame. So, I start hunting for Katamari Forever. No one in town has it used and the people who do have it new, it costs $50. Ridiculous. I can order it on Amazon for $15 or I can bitch about it in a post and hope some buys it for me for Grismas.

Well, today is just like every other day without Bones. Lame. I’ve got an article to write and dinner at Teacher Sis’s in honor of Prince Jazzbo’s not being naturally selected against for another year, but other than that, just twiddling my thumbs. Maybe I’ll make some more little notebooks. I can’t bake any more cookies until we eat the three batches I’ve made this week. Man, I love cookies.

This always makes me smile:

Babies everywhere! More soon. ~SC


1 comment »

  1. JESSICA says:

    BAAAABIES YEAAAAH!

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