Yellow Fever! Now With New Improved Crazy Eyes.


November 26, 2010 by sandwichcontrol

Who doesn’t want to be awake right now? Me. Who slept for crap? Me. I am very angry this morning. I wish I had one of those uvula-like punching bags, maybe with a clown’s face on it, hanging in my office. I would punch the shit out of it this morning. Grrr….

So, my new article is not up, yet. I’ll let you know when it is, though. I think I’ll type sentences that end with an afterthought, man.

Today I have to work at the annual open house at Lippincottonia. It is from 10am-4pm today, tomorrow, and Sunday. Feel free to come by. There will be snacks, and pottery, and maybe some guitar solos (way high up on the tiny strings). I think I am in charge of the snack department. You know what that means… cheese puffs. I do love me some cheese puffs.

Hold on, I’ve got to go spray Lee-Roy, our animatronic black Santa, with WD-40 because his creaking is about to drive me to climb the bell tower… Okay, he’s sprayed. It’s a little better but he still creaks. This just gives him an appearance of being about 900 years old. When he moves, the joints kind of stick a little causing him to shake like his nerves are gone and then creeeeeeeeeaaaaakkkk. Sometimes I imagine him singing “Old Grey Mare, Just Ain’t What She Used To Be”. Sometimes, I face him toward the yard and I imagine him telling the kids to get off the lawn. And he refers to black people, himself included, as “colored”. I like Lee-Roy.

As most of you know, yesterday was Thanksgiving. I ate so much I thought for a minute that I might die or at least poop in my pants a little. The events were pretty uneventful. We ate. We watched feetball. We ate some more. We played board games. We ate some more. The only show stopper yesterday was Dave’s magic trick that he performed during a round of Scategories. He stood up from his chair, walked half way around the table, fell backwards (like a tree) into Pancake Land, slid to the floor, laid there unconscious for about thirty seconds, woke up suddenly, and then turned yellow. Magic! He did that thing that all people who faint do, he woke up having no recollection of fainting and treated everybody like they are a spazz for asking him if he is okay a hundred times. Good times.

Well, the time has come for me to go to work. More soon. ~SC


  1. jessicA says:

    good god man, do you want some ambien for a few days?

  2. Nah. I just need to shut the bedroom door when I go to bed to keep the cats from sleeping on my face while I am trying to sleep. That and not setting the alarm clock for a few days should do the trick.

  3. Dave says:


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