Yesterday, Pancake Land and I were having one of those movie montage moments, where we were lying on the bed and laughing, and Eazy ran in and jumped on us (in most movies, it would have been our super cute kid who did the jumping, but since we prefer cats to people, it was a cat), and all was picturesque until I caught a glimpse of Eazy’s butthole. We went from Monkey Trouble to Body Snatchers in a matter of seconds. There was a worm poking out of his butthole. Gives me the gibblies and the itches all in one. I took care of it. By burning everything we owned. The cats, too. Everything. Don’t worry about it being cold at night, the blazing house fire kept us warm and cozy despite our nakedness. The bathing in the bleach was a little rough, but I think we survived. In all actuality I am not typing this post via Morse code using a telegraph machine I built out of cat bones and a Dr. Pepper can. I, (and by I, I mean Pancake Land) scrubbed the little kitty balloon knots with a baby wipe and force fed them the chalky worming medicine. Speaking of which, it’s time for meds boys.

Okay, we’re back. I keep having this re-occurring dream. I didn’t have it last night, but I had it the night before last. Anyway, in the dream I’m hanging out with Willow Ufgood, you know, from Willow, and we’re building a ziggurat (in reality it was more like a Mayan pyramid, but whatever) out of Grismas presnents. So, Willow and I are working on the top of the ziggurat and, for some reason (probably cats), presnents start falling off the edges and then more presnents fall off and, eventually, landslide-o-presnents. Willow and I usually make plans to come back tomorrow and start rebuilding and then I wake up. I’ll be happy when I finally get to open the damn presnents and start counting down ’til next Grismas.

Speaking of Grismas, sort of, I went to the City Wire’s X-mas party last night. I was dreading going, but once I got there I was fine. For some reason, I still view myself as a little kid. Granted, I’m a highly skilled and brilliant little kid who dresses like an old man, but still, I’m a little kid. I was having a good bit of anxiety about going to hang out with a bunch of grown ups. People with mortgages and educated opinions and whatnot. Luckily, I work with a bunch of other little kids. It was like a junior high dance. Boys all gravitated to one side the room and the girls to the other. We mainly talked about girls and pranks we pulled in high school. There were also plenty of dick and fart jokes to round out the evening. Good times. Plus, I finally got a City Wire shirt that won’t double as a tent in an emergency.

Unfortunately, I have to go to work this foggy morning. I’ve got to empty a bisque kiln, glaze the pots in said bisque kiln and then load them into the glaze kiln and start it firing. Whoo!

On a totally different and more exciting note, final grades came out, finally, yesterday. All A’s, bitch. I’m like the Ghost of Christmas Past of Video Games and Trigonometry. Booyah. Err…yeah…More soon. ~SC