The Brain Bumps.


January 5, 2011 by sandwichcontrol

Yesterday was a rough day. The Razorbacks lost the Sugar Bowl by five points. More birds died in Louisiana. Apparently, we’ve had something like 400 minor earthquakes recently here in Arkansas, as well. They weren’t even on the fault line. Zaxxon called to tell me that his sister’s best friend was killed in a car wreck by an 82 year old woman who got on the interstate the wrong way. Then he told me that her 2 year old son survived the wreck. I didn’t think yesterday could get any worse. Silly me.

G-Man, Pancake Land’s step dad, has been having problems using his right hand for a few weeks now. He can’t grab things with it, it feels weak, etc. Anyway, he decided to go to the doctor to have it checked out. They think he had a stroke. Awesome. So, they run some tests. And then they decide that he’s got COPD (which is huge surprise since he’s been smoking for like 50 years) as well. That was all of the good news. Then for the bad news. They found “multiple intercranial masses”. We tried to get G-Man to say “intercranial masses” but he couldn’t manage it, so we settled on calling them “brain bumps”. There were words that I could recognize and understand in the report, words like calcification and frontal lobe, but none of it really computed. These words are in science textbooks. They are on college exams. They make sense in those places. They do not make sense in the context of people I care about and their brains. They don’t know what they are yet. They might be cancer. They might be a second brain.

The funny part of the story is that the doctor wanted to admit G-Man to the hospital yesterday morning. G-Man informed the doctor that the Sugar Bowl was coming on later that day and that he wasn’t about to watch his beloved Hogs from a hospital bed. The doctor said he could come back after the game was over. So, last night, after the heartbreaking loss, G-Man checked himself into the hospital with a heavy heart and a case of the brain bumps.

I made him a button to wear to the hospital. It said “Go Hogs! Beat the Brain Bumps!” He thought it was funny. That’s all that matters.

So, do me a favor. Light a candle, say a Hail Mary, do whatever it is that you do, just send G-Man some good vibes for me. Thanks.

Okay. That was depressing. Let’s see if we can lighten the mood a little bit. Okay, so Teacher Sis is the only one to use the new voice messaging system, so far. I think it worked out pretty well. She called, said the code word, and told me to check my f*cking email. Click. So, I did. She sent me a link to a website devoted to science and the use of lots of profanity. Think “What the F*ck Should I Make For Dinner“, but all about science. Click here: SCIENCE! for funny times. Oh, in case you hadn’t figured it out, the thing about the heavy profanity was my warning that it is not work safe.

In addition to that fun, Furious Jessy sent me a link to an awesome web comic. It’s called Romantically Apocalyptic. You should check it out. It’s pretty funny.

That lightened the mood a little. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I think we need a little Bill Dance today.

Well, the usual M.O. this morning. Slept for crap, woke up late, gotta go to work. I love you. Have a great day. More soon. ~SC

1 comment »

  1. Word to Me says:

    So, for the past two days I’ve had this urge to climb on the top of a step ladder we have at work and do things. One day I tried to close a vent, but only succeeded in almost whacking my co-worker in the head with the broom handle I was using to try and close the vent. Today I decided to clean and straighten…So how was that for a laugh? Me cleaning…LOL!

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