For the worst people in the world.

You know those days when you wake up to the alarm? No, not the alarm after you’ve hit snooze for an hour, but the actual alarm. When it goes off the first time. Man, those days are stupid. I mean you specifically designed the alarm patterns to reflect the likelihood of you snooze buttoning for an hour. Add in the odds of you being in a coma-like sleep and being completely oblivious to the alarms and the fact that the sleeping version of you is an asshole who might at any second just get out of bed and turn the alarm off, and you’ve got yourself a whole mess of back up alarms. And they will never get to go off. Because, for some stupid reason, you just woke up to the first note of the first alarm.

You’re an idiot.

It is because of people like you, that there are things like this:

Yeah. So, I had to buy them. Duh. Do they taste like candy corn? No. Not in that way that the “birthday cake” ones taste like birthday cake. Those are scary. These are just really sweet. Perhaps, in that way, they do taste like candy corn. They are just a lot less like eating weird little wax triangles. Here is the weird part. They are super sweet. Which you would think would make you want to not eat any more of them, but the opposite happens. You eat one, gasp at how sweet it is, then eat another one. They are stupid.

Speaking of stupid, I realized I had forgotten to check XKCD in a while, because I’m stupid, so I did this morning. He had put up a comic about names for Exoplanets submitted by the public. I laughed until I cried. Something about the names just struck my funny bone. Here, see if it strikes you the same way: Names. The tears came when I reached “Asshole Jupiter”. It was all down hill from there. That had the same effect as someone calling a carousel a horse tornado.

Speaking of tornadoes, Furious Jessy has got a new post up. Don’t be a dingus. Read it.

Okay, I am going to go spend the next hour not sleeping, as I should be doing, but instead I’ll be twiddling my thumbs and waiting to go to work. Have a great Monday. More soon. ~SC