Is The Heat On?

1

December 9, 2013 by sandwichcontrol

Oh, the heat is on.

Oh, no. Can’t…stop…

Dammit.

I’d like to resume today’s post, after that unfortunate turn for the Frey, by wishing a very Happy Birthday to Oxi and Seasaw Sarah. Be sure to wish them both a happy one today as well.

So, weird stuff happened to me yesterday. For one, the mail ran. As in the US Postal Service delivered mail to my house. On a Sunday. I was just sitting in my office, minding my own business, checking on the progress of the many shipments I have making their way to Holliday Island, and Blammo! One of the packages says “delivered”. By the USPS nonetheless. I think to myself “Surely not. There must be some mistake. They must mean that it reached my local post office and will be delivered tomorrow.” But curiosity got the better of me. And I trudged out to the mailbox to find mail in my box. (insert a “your mom” joke here) Something is going on and I don’t know what.

Also, in the category of weird things, I got to witness the cabin fever breaking up a redneck couple last last night. In that Lifetime movie-of-the-week kind of way. Dude is leaving chick. Chick comes out of apartment yelling.

C – “Don’t bother coming back for your shit! I”m gonna throw it all in the dumpster!”

D – “Well, don’t bother ever leavin’ your apartment again!”

Some other stuff is yelled about “fuckin” other people and something about Facebook and something about putting a condom on her dildo and then: CRACK!!! (the sound not the drug)

This is the part of the story where chick starts breaking off three-foot long icicles and chunking them spear-like at dude. As he is walking down the ice covered stairs of the apartment building. It was at this point that I took my leave of this scene. You know, when it was still a drama scene and before it became a crime scene. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I’m sure he was fine. He probably headed over to these guys’s house:

Two-Old-Rednecks

 

Picked them up in his F150 and they headed over to Suzie Q’s or Perry’s Place or Shenanigan’s and rehashed old stories about snapping turtles biting the head’s of their penises or something. He has definitely not impaled by the razor sharp ice spear in the center courtyard of the apartment complex my friends live at. Don’t be ridiculous.

Okay, it’s Monday. That means it is back to work for me. Ugh. I was getting used to that being off work thing. Salary can be good sometimes. Regardless, this is where I leave you in the pursuit of justice and logarithms.

See ya’ tomorrow. More soon. ~SC


1 comment »

  1. Jessica says:

    There should be a website where I can ask if The Heat is On. If it is? Glenn Frey’s picture pops up informing you of the fact.

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