Grismas Comes Early!

1

January 9, 2014 by sandwichcontrol

Or just really, really late.

It finally happened. I got the last of my 12 days of Holiday Bullshit in the mail yesterday. That means I can finally show you what to expect in games to come!

First off, just know that the envelopes for each day are the verses of the song “The 12 Days of Christmas” but done in R-rated cartoon form. Behold my bounty!

Envelopes

Now that we know it’s a song, why don’t you all sing along? Okay!

On the first day of Grismas my true love sent to me:

Conspicuous Consumption.

Conspicuous Consumption.

On the second day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

A Lump of Coal

A Lump of Coal.

On the third day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Interfaith Circle Jerk

Interfaith Circle Jerk.

On the fourth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Clusterfuck.

Clusterfuck.

On the fifth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Your Shitty Family.

Your Shitty Family.

On the sixth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Posters of doodles of "Kill Cards".

Posters of doodles of “Kill Cards”.

On the seventh day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Elves, etc.

Elves, etc.

On the eighth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

A zine.

A zine.

On the ninth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

A Cringing Look Back At 2013.

A Cringing Look Back At 2013.

On the tenth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

A donation to a good cause. (It's for the kids.)

A donation to a good cause. (It’s for the kids.)

On the eleventh day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

5 Cards That Have Nothing To Do With the Holidays.

5 Cards That Have Nothing To Do With the Holidays.

On the twelfth day of Grismas, my true love sent to me:

Me.

Me.

Yeah. Best trump card ever!

On the Holiday Bullshit website, you can type your name into the card and it says funny things. Mine said this:

Card

 If you wish really hard right now, maybe my Crabs Adjust Humidity expansions will make it here today.

Due to someone casting Create Ice (maximized), the whole town is freaking out again. Because I’m such a nice guy, I volunteered to take Pancake Land to the airport this morning. (At 5:30a.m.) Let me tell ya’, the roads are relatively clear. Clear enough for a plane to take off.

But, since the world doesn’t take my word for anything, everything that I had to do today got cancelled or postponed until later in the day. The university closed, so tutoring there isn’t happening. The ice attack yesterday caused trouble with Big D’s routes, so he is handling that this morning. So-o-o-o-o… no bank run for Jesus this morning either.

Come to think of it, why am I still awake?

Before I head back to the warm embrace of my down comforter, let me keep you up to speed on what I do have to do today. I will have tutoring at some point. Early in the afternoon,  I am shooting this video for Le Duke (because I the world froze yesterday). As of right now, dinner is proceeding as scheduled at my house for tonight.

Now, I’m going back to sleep.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


1 comment »

  1. Dave says:

    I lost my shit at “Slicing a ham in icy silence.”

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