Ima Fire a Lightning Bolt.


October 14, 2014 by sandwichcontrol

Outta my ass and right into your face.

Back and forth. Forever.

Yesterday was the dumbest. I had a typo there before I corrected it. I wrote it was the “dumberst”. It was that too.

No, seriously. Dumb. It was the kind of day you wake up after a very short night of restless sleep, then you do about 100,000 variations on a push-up, and then the day proceeds to take a dump on you one little turd at a time. Like goat turds. Little Raisenets™ of poorly digested trash and wishes that’ll never come true. And then you go to Walmart*. Twice.

Yesterday was the day you should be thankful that I didn’t hit you with my car. I considered driving to Canada. As the crow flies. Not following any roads or anything. Just turn the truck north, click it into 4 wheel drive, and punch it. Roads? We don’t need roads where we’re going.

By the end of the day, I had had enough. I had dinner with Teacher Sis so we could collectively vent. Before we even decided where we were going to eat, I had already planned the rest of my night.

1) Eat sandwich. And possibly a cupcake.

2) Take drugs.

3) Give the universe the finger.

4) Pass out.

Even though eating an amazing sandwich made me feel slightly better, I stuck to the plan. Sort of. I got high on my own supply and stared at this baby alpaca:

Baby-Alpaca-lAnd pressed this button over and over and over again. While I stared at the baby alpaca.


Today is going to be better. Whether you like it or not.

I’m taking the truck in to get it worked on first thing after workout. I’m probably going to walk over to my letterpress studio to see what kind of trouble I can get into after that. If you need anything, call someone else. I have things to do.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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