Just Another Maniac Monday.

1

February 9, 2016 by sandwichcontrol

Only on a Tuesday.

That’s how crazy it is.

Today’s song is “Mussolini Vs. Stalin” by Gogol Bordello. It is being brought to you today by Taco Planet.

Yesterday was never ending madness.

Workout was insane. I hurt all over. That’s the sign of a well balanced workout.

Work was crazy hectic. Running around all day.

The photo was a nightmare to shoot. My camera just couldn’t wrap its head around a lit match. But the shot turned out great anyway…

"Mexico"

“Mexico”

One running theme of the day was me trying to find women to take their clothes off and let me photograph them. Not in an artsy kind of way either. What I ultimately came up with as a solution to all of my problems is that I should stop toying with the idea of being a terrible human being, shell out the cash, and buy a person. Probably Russian. Definitely female. More than likely from the internet.

The benefits would be endless. I’d have a production assistant to help with all of the photos. I’d have a model on hand to be in any shot that I need a lady for. Word to Me would finally have a daughter-in-law, you know because I’d need to keep her in this country legally, so I’ll stop getting the “never going to have more grand children” speech. Because of my new “wife” people would stop trying to introduce me to their really nice single friends. And I’d officially declare my allegiance to the worst part of humanity, so I’d be rid of all of that Catholic guilt that weighs me down for every little thing that’s not really my fault, but I internalize it anyway.

The sad truth is that if Amazon sold people, I probably would have wish listed one by now. Just to help out around the house. My yard is a disaster.

And a one time cost of buying a person with free Prime shipping, is cheaper in the long run than paying someone to do the work on a regular basis. That’s just basic economics.

Whoa.

I might be a little hungover from the Monday Madness.

My apologies.

Not really.

I’m going to go buy a wheelchair.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC

 


1 comment »

  1. Dave says:

    This guy gets it.

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