If You Need Me…


July 9, 2018 by sandwichcontrol

I’ll be out on the helicopter landing pad spray painting my suitcase.

True story.

Did you miss me?

Of course you did.

You missed me like I missed people’s birthdays while I was gone.

So, here’s the scoop on my trip.

I left Sunday morning. Bright and early. I drove all the way to Dayton, Ohio and the car battery died in the parking lot of the gas station where I had stopped to pee. Oh, and their restroom was out of order.

So I waited around for a tow truck. Needing to pee, but not able to leave the car because it wouldn’t lock with the battery dead. I got a room at a hotel and then fucking crashed…

Sunday, July 01

I go get the battery sorted out first thing in the morning on Monday and hit the road. I make it to Utica, New York before the rain and the tiredness land me at a spooky hotel for the night…

Monday, July 02

Back on the road Tuesday morning and I make it to the house in Maine.

It’s seriously magical…

Tuesday, July 03

I rest the remainder of the day.

Wednesday I sleep in and spend the day relaxing, watching the ocean/bay/river, walking around and exploring the woods near the house, and reading comics…

Wednesday, July 04

In the evening we all went out to the dock to watch the fireworks and stare at the stars. It was like being at summer camp.

Or at least what I assume being at summer camp was like when it wasn’t all about how great White Jesus is.

On Thursday we went art shopping. And got the house in order for a dinner party.

Oh, and I painted my suitcase like the title of the post suggests…

Thursday, July 05

And the answer is no. We don’t have a helicopter. Yet. Why would we have one when I don’t know how to fly one yet?


On Friday it rained a lot in the morning. It was beautiful.

As the high pressure front settled down onto the lower pressure storm, a fog settled on the bay making it super spooky and amazing…

Friday, July 06

Despite the fact that it was in the upper 80s Fahrenheit, the water was still under 50°F. So I didn’t stand in the water for long before my feet got super cold.

Saturday was spent traveling home and searching for snacks and beverages…

Saturday, July 07

I got home around midnight and passed the fuck out.

Sunday was spent settling into my third home for the week…

Sunday, July 08

Because I’m housesitting on and off for the next few weeks.

Welcome to butler life.

I’m looking forward to getting back to some semblance of a normal routine.

Over a week of eating weird shit and sleeping weird hours and drinking a lot of coffee has got my head all scrambled up.

I think today is Monday.

And that’s as far as I’ve gotten.

I need coffee.

But first, push-ups.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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