“It’s Like Penthouse Forums.

1

April 10, 2020 by sandwichcontrol

But for moms.”

That’s Teacher Sis’s quote about her preferred reading material.

Perhaps it’s my lack of sleep, or the moon, or the amount of yard work I’ve been doing in the blazing sun in order to avoid people, but I had a moment yesterday when I tried to zoom in on something in real life so that I could better examine it. Like I would zoom in on a photo in my phone.

I even put my index finger and thumb up in the air in front of the thing I wanted to zoom in on.

I didn’t manage to catch myself doing a crazy thing before I actually tried to zoom.

But just barely.

I decided it was a wise a decision to eat part of an Ambien last night so I’d finally get some coddamn sleep.

One of these days I’m going to wake up suddenly in the middle of a car chase. My Ambien sleepy time blackout is all fun and games until I snap out of it to find myself in some sort of dayglo fever dream of reality involving hookers, an UZI being fired out a car window, and a ridiculous number of state troopers pursuing us down the interstate.

If only these photo naps were real naps…

April 10, 2020

I almost just typed 2018 instead of 2020.

2019 would’ve been weird, but still acceptable as a rare mistake this late into the year.

2018 is a fucking red flag.

(This was written before I ate the Ambien.)

Sorry. Just had to break the fourth wall a little.

Today is Friday?

Somehow.

Jitterbug got off work early yesterday and then we worked in the yard so it felt like a Friday night and then now it’s Friday and I’m very confused as to why it isn’t Saturday and why I have client stuff to do.

I’m going to go pretend I know what is going on and start a fire.

In the firepit.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


1 comment »

  1. Andi says:

    I’m going to need to know what her reading material is please.

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