Maybe He’s Born With It.

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May 18, 2020 by sandwichcontrol

Maybe he breathed in too many spray fumes.

Imagine just slowly reaching for the headphones at the first warning signs that someone in your house is about to start obliviously singing an early 2000’s Britney Spears song at the top of their lungs.

As you press play that irritating sound is quickly enveloped in the dulcet tones of a jet engine.

Or is that waterfall’s song recorded just a little too close?

It could even be the sound of a switched-on cordless electric razor dropped into a well.

Who knows?

All you need to know is that waves of tranquility are washing over you.

Now you can bask in the light of your own genius.

Because, in the depths of eating your feelings over the weekend, you created an eggless cookie dough that can be eaten raw and also baked into cookies.

However you’re feeling at that momnet.

You’ve made a tub of it filled with little balls of dough. Hidden in your special drawer in the fridge.

Each morsel is ready for either your sad, gaping maw or the parchment-lined cookie sheet on its way to that pre-heated oven.

You did this without researching any kitchen black magic.

You did it from your brain.

And you’re very proud of yourself.

As well you should be.

You deserve a reward.

Maybe just one more cookie.

We had a crazy, fun weekend.

We did a family photoshoot on Saturday so that I’d have some photos to hang up in my cubicle at work.

Getting everyone on the same page was exhausting…

May 17, 2020

On Sunday we puttered around the house working on odd jobs.

I spray painted some barrels for work.

And attempted to find a quiet place to read comics.

I read 30 books last week.

What. The. Fuck.

Granted, a lot of them were around 150 pages, but still.

Even if all of them were 150 page books, that’s still 4,500 pages in a week.

No wonder I had room left in my brain for other information.

I’m hoping to keep this trend going.

I’m up to 49 books for the month and 119 for the year.

If I can hit 140 by the end of the month, I’ll have doubled where I was after the first four months of the year.

At the end of April I had read 70 books.

In case you didn’t want to do the math.

All right.

It’s Monday.

Time to hit the ground running.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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