(mimes typing) “Do Caterpillars Have Tails?”


April 30, 2021 by sandwichcontrol

Yeah. That’s what I searched for.

The word of the day is: Floor.

[ flawr, flohr ]
that part of a room, hallway, or the like, that forms its lower enclosing surface and upon which one walks.
a continuous, supporting surface extending horizontally throughout a building, having a number of rooms, apartments, or the like, and constituting one level or stage in the structure; story.
a level, supporting surface in any structure:
the elevator floor.
one of two or more layers of material composing a floor:
rough floor; finish floor.
verb (used with object)
to cover or furnish with a floor.
to bring down to the floor or ground; knock down:
He floored his opponent with one blow.

So in my delirious state, I have a new working hypothesis.

But first an update on the delirious state.

I’ve started taking melatonin again.

The thinking behind why I stopped taking it a while back is because I was afraid that my body would stop producing it naturally and I would become dependant on a supplement.

The thinking behind why I resumed taking it is that my body clearly sucks at producing it naturally and I would rather be dependant on taking a supplement than constantly sleeping like garbage.

I went from being a C average sleeper to a B- average sleeper.

Every little bit helps.

I think I can finally describe how I feel when I constantly say I’m tired.

Imagine charging your phone overnight.

And then it’s only at 82% in the morning when you get up.

And then you have to use your phone for everything all day long.

At some point the phone is like “Hey. I’m at 20%. Switching to ‘Power Save Mode’ okie dokie?”

Then you have to limp along using limited resources just to get through the last 3/5ths of your day.

That is how I feel.

As to the new working hypothesis that has arisen out of this exhaustion.

I think that my headaches may come from an imbalance in my vestibular sensory system caused by being on the Autism spectrum.

And I’m constantly straining my brain to sense things “normally”.

Because I was conditioned as a child to “not act out”.

When in reality I was probably just trying to exorcise my “jitters” and “wiggles”.

Which could also be one of the reasons why I listen to music too loudly and am subsequently going fucking deaf.

Lots to test and explore.

But at least it’s a path.

Today’s Friday.

And it’s going to be just as stupid as every fucking other day this week.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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