Not a Lot of Invitations.

0

July 7, 2021 by sandwichcontrol

For me to attend quinceañeras.

The word of the day is: Moist.

[ moist ]
adjective, moist·er, moist·est.
moderately or slightly wet; damp.
(of the eyes) tearful.
accompanied by or connected with liquid or moisture.
(of the air) having high humidity.

Cake.

The only topic in which the word “moist” is allowed to be used.

Also, fuck that piece of cake.

If I ate the whole thing it would’ve been 860 calories (kCal).

According to the people who wasted their precious caloric intake on that piece of cake, it was just “all right”.

If I’m gonna blow my caloric load on a single piece of food, it had better rock my fucking world.

I’m so very glad I pawned that off on the children.

That left my nutrition diary clear for the dark chocolate creme Oreos I picked up yesterday from the store.

They don’t hit you in the face with the dark chocolateliness of the creme, but they are definitely richer.

Eating more than 12 in a sitting would probably give you a tummy ache.

Also 12 of these Oreos would still only be 840 kCal.

Remember a second ago when you were thinking to yourself: “Jeezus. 12 Oreos is a lot of cookies to eat in one sitting.”?

Yeah.

Fewer calories than one piece of fucking cake.

If you’re now thinking to yourself that there’s nothing wrong with eating 12 Oreos in one sitting, don’t go shaming yourself.

But the general consensus on the innernet is that 6-8 is a pretty satisfying number of Oreos.

As a rule, I’m inclined to agree.

On a normal occasion, with a glass of ice cold milk, 6-8 Oreos usually hits the spot.

But sometimes you just need to eat a shitload of Oreos (12).

And that’s totally fine.

Just know that your shitload of Oreos (12) is fewer calories than a single slice of Marketside’s Chocolate Chip Explosion Cake from the Walmart bakery.

And if you wanna eat two pieces of that cake, go for it.

You’ll get no shame from me.

I can just think of many other ways to spend my daily caloric allotment that I would find more satisfying.

But if it rocks your butt, let it fuck you.

By all means.

I’m not here to judge anyone on how they eat.

Fuck, I like Vienna sausages and Wheat Thins as a late night snack.

Sometimes with Miracle Whip.

I can’t say shit.

Wow.

That went somewhere I wasn’t expecting.

Yesterday was a long day.

Today is going to be a little shorter.

I need it to be.

Because tomorrow is going to be fucking insane.

See ya’ then.

More soon. ~SC


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