When Your Mouth Is a Desert.


August 25, 2021 by sandwichcontrol

And the rest of you is a rainforest.

The word of the day is: Quixotic.

[ kwik-sot-ik ]
extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical, or impracticable.
impulsive and often rashly unpredictable.
(sometimes initial capital letter) resembling or befitting Don Quixote.

I shouldn’t have waited until the evening to start listening to the Comet Is Coming.

I should’ve started at breakfast.

It would’ve been the brain food I needed to make it through the day without being so grumpy.

They are just insane enough, musically, that it would’ve fueled the fire of creativity that I needed.

But shoulda woulda coulda, ya’ know?

I spent most of yesterday condensing the contents of five desks down to fit on two desks.

And still be functional.

Also, fuck a bunch of the summertime.

It’s like I am wearing a wet swimsuit from the 1920’s all day, every day for five months.

Because that’s what we get in Arkansas.

You get 5 months of summer, a month of spring, four months of autumn, and about months of what you can maybe call winter, but is really like autumn trying to figure out a Rubik’s cube on it’s way to spring.

It’s cold, no wait it’s beautiful, nope Summer got here early, just kidding freezing.

That’s what it’s like here.

I can understand why ex-pats move to countries where it’s one temperature year round.

I’m thinking Antartica for my retirement.

If there’s any of it still left frozen by the time I get there.

Just me and some penguins kicking it.

Chasing the fucking dragon.

With a snowmobile.

And a bucket of kipper snacks.

And a box of wheat thins.

I could almost tolerate the eat if it didn’t fuck with my eating habits.

I get hot and sweaty and then have zero appetite.

But I eat because I need to so I’m not hangry all the fucking time.

So then I spend the day all bloated and nauseated.

So then I skip a meal and wind up hangry anyway.

I can’t even get around the nausea thing by eating right before bed.

Sleep through it, right?

Fuck no.

Acid reflux, bitch.

Or GERD if you prefer.

And the cherry on top is the meds that I’m taking to prevent having headaches everyday constipates me.

So I’m lugging my sweating swollen belly around, raging out on the shopping cart with that one fucked wheel.

And all I want to do is eating some soap and a grilled cheese.

But alas.

Not happening.

I’m just gonna swift to a liquid diet.

Smoothies for every meal.

And coffee Werther’s in between shakes.

Because the cottonmouth is strong with this one.

So, how’s your week going?

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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