December 3, 2021 by sandwichcontrol

When Wednesday jams it’s dick in Thursday.

The word of the day is: Unicorn.

[ yoo-ni-kawrn ]
a mythical creature resembling a horse, with a single horn in the center of its forehead: often symbolic of chastity or purity.
a heraldic representation of this animal, in the form of a horse with a lion’s tail and with a long, straight, and spirally twisted horn.
(initial capital letter)Astronomy. the constellation Monoceros.
an animal mentioned in the Bible, Deuteronomy 33:17: now believed by some to be a description of a wild ox or rhinoceros.
a former gold coin of Scotland, first issued by James III in 1486, having an obverse bearing the figure of a unicorn.
Business. a relatively new company, usually less than ten years old, that is valued at $1 billion or more by public or private investors.

Why the fuck isn’t it actually spelled yoonikawrn?

Yesterday was a total mindfuck.

I should’ve known it was gonna go sideways when I poured the last of the coffee into Jitterbug’s morning shake.

I mean, I normally put coffee in the shake.

I just wasn’t alert enough to realize that I was giving her ALL the coffee.


Then I found out that the student that I’ve been working with was shot and killed Wednesday night.

LIke, wait what?

I literally worked with that dude on solving functions of (x) on Wednesday.

I drove that dude home.

And then like five hours later he was shot and died on the operating table.

19 years old.

We were supposed to work on some trig stuff yesterday afternoon.

He was supposed to be taking the placement test at college today.

How do I even respond to that information?

Answer: Have an existential crisis over the library books that I checked out for him to read because he didn’t have a library card and now I can’t ever mention them to his family without sounding like more of a sociopath than I actually am.

Like “Sorry your child/grandchild/twin brother died, but could you maybe return those books to the library so they don’t give me a late fee? Great. Thanks.”

The headache got an early start yesterday.

In my befuddled state I stopped at the shittiest fucking gas station in all of existence to buy a coddamn coffee flavored coffee drink Frappuccino and had to settle for the tiny mocha Frapp and some other vanilla bullshit.

For like $7.

Maybe it was the fact that it was a palindrome day.


But only countries in that write it month, day, year.

Countries that actually put their dates in order of period from smallest to largest it would’ve just been a regular day.


At some point the exhaustion overtook the headache and I ended up eating half a box of protein graham crackers in my truck and wishing I had a bottle of water.

Just sitting there.

Staring into space.


And eating like 60 graham crackers that weren’t even that tasty.

I ate a bowl of oatmeal at like 4:30pm and was ready to go to bed.

Like the old man I’ve always been working towards.

I should call Papa today.

I haven’t talked to him in a while.

I’ll go do that now.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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