February 27, 2010 by sandwichcontrol
Top of the morning to ya’! I am feeling a little better today. Most of the congestion is gone and the little bit that is still here is in my chest and I only cough every once in a while. Not bad. So, it is friggin’ early, I have had my Papa Sandwiches, and now I am going to work on the giant wholesale order that keeps getting pushed back thereby causing us to procrastinate instead of working on it. That whole moving thing did not help either. We are actually in pretty good shape as far as getting it out by Monday. I did a lot of the packaging for it back when we thought it was due in January.
Last night, White Chocolate came over to confirm hers and Garfield Bob’s reservations for tonight at Chez Holliday. While she was here we got to talking about all sorts of things. We talked about which animals we would have a hard time eating, and Pancake Land broke down a little thinking about having to eat her dog. It was awesome. From there we meandered about until, finally, we reached a point where it was decided that I needed to start a website where I critique prostitute trading cards. You know, the ones they hand out in Las Vegas.
I have a small stack of them that Pancake Land brought me back from their recent trip to Vegas and she, and I, had no idea that I would be so fascinated by them. I mean they are cards, like business cards, with pictures of naked/semi-naked women on them. You look at it and you are like “That’s a naked woman.” and then your brain stops for a second and you say to yourself “Wait a minute, she’s a prostitute. She has sex for money. That’s her job.”
I then proceeded to bust a little logic at this scenario. If this card is like a business card/flyer/advertisement for a service, then compared to other non-prostitute based business card/flyer/advertisements, does it sell the aforementioned services to me. i.e. is it an effective advertising solution? I also critiqued the cards on a handful of impromptu criteria that I came up with such as quality of photography, general layout, general appearance of prostitute, and overall originality of card. I know, I have way too much time on my hands. It beats me calling you at 6:30am, doesn’t it? The best part of this whole idea is that I would offer my services, for a fee, to the prostitutes. Like a marketing consultant. I could do this from home, via the internet. I mean, it’s not like they are cutting and pasting their cards together using rubber cement and a photocopier. They could email me the images and I would tell them what is wrong with them and they would pay me.
I need a title. How about “Prostitution and Interpersonal Marketing P…”? I couldn’t come up with another p-word. I thought about personnel, but that sounded like I work for their company, rather than being my own company. I thought about personage about that does flow very well. Proprietor is pretty good. I don’t know.
Enough of this silliness. I have work to do. I need to clean my kitchen if I am cooking a big meal for tonight. I need to take out the trash, because ever trash can in the house is overflowing with snotty tissues. I need to work on this wholesale order, and I definitely need to take a shower. I am so gross. Maybe I’ll watch Hustle and Flow while I’m working. You know, it’s hard out here for a Pimp, especially when your trying to get the money for the rent. Whatever. More soon. ~SC
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