Debby Is a Big Disappointment?

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April 19, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

Yeah. On Tuesday. For her braces. Not my Aunt Vern. The other one. Speaking of Vern, I’d like to wish …
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Getting Time Crystalled.

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April 18, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

By a Terran that wants to make you legless. Terran yo’ damn legs off. Happy High Five Day! Yesterday was …
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Your Head IS Crooked.

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April 17, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

But your part is straight. Happy Haiku Day! No seriously. A year of naps. It’s gonna be amazing. Yesterday got …
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All of This Could’ve Been Easily Avoided.

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April 16, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

If they’d’ve just raked more often. Happy Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day! Holy fuckballs. Yesterday kicked my ass. A …
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Whatever I Find Under My Toenails.

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April 15, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

Is none-a-ya coddamn business. Happy Take a Wild Guess Day! Yesterday was as productive as Saturday was relaxed. I did …
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