Tumble Outta Bed and Stumble To the Kitchen.


July 31, 2014 by sandwichcontrol

Pour myself a cup of… I’m all out of ambition. (sigh) Well, shit. Add it to the grocery list.

I’d like to start out today’s post by wishing a very Happy Birthday to Harry Potter. Be sure to celebrate it with some of your muggle friends.

If you hadn’t guessed, from yesterday’s Daily Photo and the title of today’s post, I have no fucks to give about yesterday being over with. As the Ninja once said, it is a barren field in which I grow the fucks I give. And I burned and salted the ground of yesterday.

I just couldn’t wake up. No amount of coffee could keep me awake. And napping just really pissed me off. And all of the news that I got was bad.

At least the world’s most evil wizard didn’t kill my parents forcing me to be raised by my shitty relatives only to discover that I was also a wizard and had to subsequently kill the aforementioned evil wizard or be forever under the threat of him murdering my friends. I would get to bone my best friend’s sister, though. Hrm…


It might be worth it.

I doubt it, though. If it was anything like yesterday, I would put my wand to my own head and cast “Forgeticus” while wearing a ring of “Maximize”. Then I’d wake up a few hours later and wonder why I was dressed like an idiot and had a screaming migraine. Little would I know that I had cursed the ring to make me involuntarily punch anyone in the mouth who tried to tell me that I was a wizard.

“But SC, you’re a wizard!”

Punch in the mouth.

Voldemort wouldn’t see that one coming. Fucker.

I’m going to go punch Gary. For real.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


1 comment »

  1. Sweetbread says:

    Lukaku just signed a five-year deal with Everton…so we got that goin’ for us. Which is nice.

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