So, I’ve been hit with the SPAM comments like crazy this week. Maybe the warmer weather has got the SPAM generators all fired up. Whatever the case, it’s stupid that I should 75 SPAM comments first thing this morning and not a single one of them has actual content, just random letters and symbols. It was rather disappointing.

But who cares?! Why, today is the day of the book party, of course! In preparation for this, I put the final touches on my “radical” book and baked a metric shitload of cookies. Whoa. The spell checker didn’t flag the word shitload. Awesome. Anyways, before going to feast on cookies and cupcakes, I have to go help pack up the gallery so that Le Duke can go to a craft show this weekend. As soon as the van is packed, I’m off to pastry land.

Then, after that I’ve got tutoring with my student. He apparently has “end of course” testing next week and his Math teacher is being kind of a dick about the review. He kept telling the students that he would be handing out a review for the test, for weeks we’ve been waiting. On Tuesday he tells them to just use the reviews for all of the unit tests. If I had known that, we could have been reviewing for weeks now. So, last minute cramming is in order. It pays the bills, so I can’t complain too much. Plus, my student is cool about the whole thing so it makes both of our lives a little easier.

Perhaps, you’ve notice that I’m in a better mood today. Well, I am. Perhaps it is the promise of cupcakes that has got me cheerier. Perhaps it is the realization that most of the stress in my life is ebbing for a minute. Or maybe it is because I got the Harry Potter series in audiobook format. What the crap?! Spell check is going to flag audiobook, but not shitload? This is the world we live in. What was I saying? Oh, right, Harry Potter. Yes, I acquired the complete series of iPod formatted audiobooks in a total legal and traditional fashion. And I started listening to Sorcerer’s Stone yesterday and all my troubles melted away. Some people smoke pot to relax. Some people drink a glass of Scotch at the end of the day. I listen to stories about the boy who lived. The best part of the whole thing is the secrecy of it. If you were to just look at me, you’d have no idea what I’m listening to. You would think to yourself:

“Look at that handsome and rugged man with the exceptionally nice beard. He has headphones on. He must be listening to speed Metal because that is how awesome he is.”

But you would wrong about the speed Metal today. Everything else you would be right about, but not the Metal. Not today. Starting the series over, it kind of feels like I’m an alcoholic that told everybody that I quit drinking. But instead of really quitting, I just drink Listerine in my locked office at home. I have just change the form of my addiction and taken it into the privacy of my own headphones.

On a slightly funnier note, I made sloppy Joe’s the other night for dinner. After eating three of them in the comfort of my slightly dark living room in the company of the Conner family, Pancake Land called to me from the well-lit kitchen.

PL- “Hey babe, is this mold?”

me- “Is what mold?”

PL- “On the buns. It looks like mold.”

me- “It couldn’t possibly be mold. I just bought those buns three days ago.”

PL- “It sure looks like mold.”

So I go to inspect them. These sorts of claims come from Pancake Land on a fairly regular basis, so I’m used to it by now. You’d be amazed by how many times the phrase “I think this (insert food here) is rancid.” is said here on Holliday Island. Anyways, this time Pancake Land got the moral high ground because, sure enough, they were moldy. Not a lot of mold, granted, but still moldy. It was like slow motion as Pancake Land looked from the moldy buns to my face. You could see the realization forming in her mind. Her thoughts went something like this:

There are five moldy buns in this package.

There should be eight.

Three of them are missing.

(Slowly pan camera from bun package to crumbs in my beard. Zoom in on crumbs.)

I don’t know if I can kiss you anymore.

I might vomit just thinking about it.

Oh, look. We have a loaf of bread that I can use for my sloppy Joe’s.

Hooray.

Or something like that anyways. Well, the time has come for me to go to work. I’ll leave you with a video sent to me by my friends over at the Terra Cottage. They made a short film about breaking down a craft show. You might recognize a few faces (Le Duke, Nina Bigpants, Julio Down By the Schoolyard, and of course, me). Enjoy.

And with that, I’m off. Remember 2-4pm today in the Letterpress shop in the Gardner building basement. Call me if you can’t find it. Have a great day. More soon. ~SC