After four glorious days off and a sizable public outcry, I have returned to the innernet. What have I been up to these past few days? A surprisingly great number of things. So, I guess we’ll start with where we left off.

After we last talked on Monday, I headed to Lippincottonia expecting another week of doing odd jobs and wandering aimlessly without purpose or real meaning to my life. Oh, how I was wrong. When I got to work I asked Le Duke what he wanted me to do. There was the stuff I had expected, theater block stuff. Then, he rocked me with the unexpected. He told me to take a hand sledge, or a single jack if you will, and demolish his kitchen. Excuse me? Can you say that again, but a little slower this time? You want me to crank up the Metal to 11 and smash your entire kitchen with a hammer? Answer: Yes*.

I like to refer to the three days that followed this statement as “Physical Therapy”. I started with the tile counter tops and back splash. SMASH! Then, I moved on the the cabinets. SMASH! Next came the brick wall facade that was behind the counters. SMASH! Then the drywall. SMASH! Then the appliances. Oh, no! Don’t smash the fridge! It has the food in it and they’ll continue using it once the new kitchen gets in place. Maybe I got a little swept up in the moment.

Once the kitchen was thoroughly destroyed and I relished the dust filled air and my bleeding hands, it was time to start putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.

We had a crew of plumbers come in to reroute some drains and vents and then we set out to clean up after them. By the time Friday rolled around we were pouring concrete in the vast ditch carved into the floor by the plumbers. On top of the new concrete we then built a stage of sorts to raise the existing floor up a few inches to make it level with the current dining room.

Let me just clear a few things up, for those you don’t know firsthand. Doing Math and building a kitchen is fun, but not nearly as fun as smashing a kitchen with a hammer. I told Le Duke that my t-shirt shouldn’t read “Lippincott Construction” but more appropriately “Lippincott Destruction”.

In addition to all of this exciting kitchen stuff I’ve decided to get off of my lazy ass and get back to my schooling. Especially since if I stay out too long I’ll have to sign a new degree plan which will royally fuck things up. So, I drudged through the red tape and headaches of signing up for classes. I managed to get into “Food Microbiology” which meets one night a week. In that class I get to learn all about making cheese and hooch. Hooray for science! Also, there’s an entire chapter on making aged meat products. Pepperoni anyone? The other class I got into is a geography course. It is completely online, which I hate, but it manages to not interfere with any of my many jobs, so what are you gonna do?

Other exciting things that have happened this week…hmmm. Oh, okay. Um, a small group of my friends and I, all led by the Rev. Dark Wombat, have started playing Pathfinder. For all intents and purposes, it’s Dungeons and Dragons. We spent Wednesday night building characters and took them for a test drive on Friday night. We would have played on Thursday, but RDW got violently ill and couldn’t get out of bed. Don’t worry, I recorded the game. It will be a new podcast that will be recorded every so often, and posted shortly thereafter. If you want to know about my character, he is an Oread monk named Larry Jenkins and he has “stunning fists”. Beware them. Once I get the podcast up, you’ll get to experience the glory of Larry Jenkins (which gets yelled after defeating an enemy) and his stunning fists.

Since the Rev. Dark Wombat was in my house, and since he hasn’t been over since the rule was enacted, I trapped him in ice:

Rev. Dark Wombat.

Also, my newest article is up on the City Wire for anybody who hasn’t seen it yet. If you’d like to read it, click here: #100.

In other news, I’ve started preparing to paint again. I’ve picked up all of my supplies and am ready to begin. Also, I’ve got a new photo project in the works and as soon I collect the coin to get the equipment, it’s on like Donkey Kong. I’ll tell you more about these two projects as they develop.

Also, I was informed via a spam comment that “Your sarcastic voice and your creepy creeper voice sound pretty much the same.” Awesome.

Okay, well it’s Caturday and I’ve stuff to do. Stuff like lying around and eating tacos. It’s good to be back and I’ll talk at all of you very shortly. More soon. ~SC

* If you’ll recall a little while ago, La Duchess bought an entire kitchen which Le Duke and I went to pick up in a UHaul. It is time for that new kitchen to replace the old kitchen. Hence the smashing.