Since my last Japan update was posted, a metric shit ton of craziness has happened. Are you ready? No.

Here is the remainder of my trip in no particular order. I think that’s appropriate because it’s all a blur anyway.

So, thanks to the Rev. Dark Wombat’s prayers to the tectonic plate punching fists of the god-spirit Tokugawa, I got to experinece my first earthquake. It registered as a 5.9 on the Richter scale, which is enough to make an unsuspecting dude shit his drawers. That is to say, a relatively strong one. Luckily it happened right in the middle of the recording of the DnD game, so I have proof of it.

Then there was the Brazilian steakhouse: 

The steakhouse is located upstairs at the Don Quixote. How to describe the “Donkey”? Imagine if Walmart* only sold insane shit and it’s mascot was a cartoon penguin wearing a santa hat. Yeah, that sums it up pretty well.

Then there the three Toshogu that I visited. Apparently, there are lots of shrines in honor of Tokugawa, but we visited the most important ones. The one in honor of his birthplace in Serada:

The one in honor of his life and reign as Shogun in Tokyo:

And the one commemorating his death in Nikko:

And who could forget the Parasite Museum with its walls-o-specimen?

Also, they have the most creepiest and grossest thing ever. It is sure to give you the jibblies:

Yes, that’s a tick. And it’s about the size of a quarter.

There was a run through the Hard Rock Cafe gift shop so that I could grab a t-shirt and a badass Oni of Rock magnet.

And then there was Tokyo Tower:

A quick trip by the Nippon Budokan (ala Cheap Trick) where the Sumo matches are held. Unfortunately, it is not Sumo season. Then, it was off to the Imperial Gardens. I was so taken aback by their beauty that I forgot to take photos. I did take a photo of the sign, though.

Zoom in a bit and you discover this gem:

Oh Bansho, you’re so random.

And then there was Yasukuni Shrine, in honor of every person who has ever taken up weapons to protect Japan:

And there’s this badass Samurai way up in the air at the shrine:

Then there’s the giant fucking lantern (Kaminarimon):

Which is located at Sensoji (Shrine of the Big Fucking Lantern) in Asakusa, the temple district of Tokyo:

Weirdly enough, we ran in to Back Alley Trey’s ancestor while we were there:

We had lunch at Kyushu Jangara, the former prime minister’s favorite ramen place, a dinner of yakiniku, snacks and drinks at “The Lockup”, a dungeon themed club where the “guards” where very tall boots and very short skirts, and rounded the eat and drink fest off with a melon soda at the 8-Bit Cafe, the nerdiest bar of all time.

Then there was the trip to nerd central in Akihabara:

Tip of the nerd iceberg. Barely scratched the surface with that photo. Two words kids: Super Potato. Now this is place we ate lunch at before returning to Ota and I think this photo sums up my whole trip to Japan pretty well:

For the record, I had the “bacon dog”:

I also saw these in Akihabara and they made me want a scooter even more:

Oh, and how could I forget the National Museum of Science and Natural History with their wheel of pig fetuses:

By the end of our Tokyo trip, we were wiped out from carrying around all of our loot in ridiculous wind. It is a good thing that the wind started derailing trains. We wouldn’t want life to be easy or anything. After some quick thinking and huge favors from Flower In the Temple, Master Enormous Genitals, and many others we made it home in time to make gumbo for the starving hordes. Then we played Ghost Stories. Don’t worry about what it is. I’ll be letting all of you experience it soon enough.

For the record, Japanese McDonald’s is weird. They are currently offering a teriyaki burger with a fried egg topped with a dollop of cherry blossum infused mayo. Insane.

On my last day, Liam Nissan offered to drive us around for to do the shopping of more stuff. We hit the Toys ‘R Us. Which was of course insane. Then we hit at store called Galacta (Ga-rac-u-ta). If Sweet Bread or Back Alley Trey came to Ota, they’d spend every waking moment and all of their money there. Imagine a giant warehouse size thrift store filled only with video games, action figures, comic books, anime, and porn.

After that excitement it was off to dinner with Flower In the Temple. She demanded that I eat sushi and I gladly obliged.

And the Rev. wanted me to experience Kyudo, the art of the bow, so we went by the budokan where he practices. It is a beautiful thing to watch:

After that it was off to the grocery store for some last minute purchases and then back to the apartment for show-n-tell of treasures with FItT. This also helped me pack everything up.

I managed to only be a total gaijin a handful of times during the trip. Twice with my shoes and once when I accidentally turned half of the lights off at the Kyudo dojo. It is okay though, Flower In the Temple tried to help me turn them back on and turned the other half off. There was much bowing and blushing from both of us.

Overall, I had a fucking blast.

I would like to take a moment and thank a few people, in no particular order, for making my experience the best it possibly could be.

Thanks to Master Hung Well for deeming me worthy to play his reindeer games and for spraying my computer with his cocktail of blueberry wine and grape Mountain Dew.

Thanks to that Kevin Dude for sharing his Tokyo adventure with me.

Thanks to Liam Nissan for hauling us around in his boot.

Thanks to the Model Pronoun for being the best sous chef I could have hoped for.

Thanks to Nurse Fujita for our temple adventure, for observing the couch barrier, and most importantly for the gyoza.

Thanks to Flower In the Temple for saving our butts more than once, for the secret stash of melon bread, and for taking the Rev. “to pick up your dog from the vet” and “eating gumbo” with him.

Thanks to Master Enormous Genitals and Kukki for never letting me stop eating and drinking the wonders of Japan.

And last, but definitely not least, great thanks to the Rev. Dark Wombat for giving me the opportunity to have this adventure (and letting me sleep on his couch while I had the adventure).

Okay, that killed almost all of the time of my imprisonment in LAX and caught you up on most of my Japan trip. You know as well as I do that no amount of photos or videos can capture the experience of biting into warm melon bread or tossing a coin into a prayer box at Tokugawa’s last resting place. But, this will just have to do. And yes, I’ve got a video. Around 50 of them to be more accurate. I’ll sort through those and put something up later. For now, I’m off to try and get home at last. More soon. ~SC