Yesterday…(sigh)

The day started at 4am. I took Pancake Land to the airport so that she could go on her adventure. Well, it’s a job as well. But part adventure at least. Anyways, then it was back home to work on stuff until time for Mama Hammons funeral. (sigh again)

Imagine what you’d want in a funeral. Now imagine that someone else came in after you had died and did everything exactly the opposite as you’d have wanted, but more insane and in as bad of form as possible. That was pretty much this funeral. From the misogynistic preacher, to the music that was not Janis Joplin, to the graveside service under a carport in b.f.e., to the fact that we had to lower the casket into a concrete box that was then hoisted onto the back of this crazy trailer and hauled off by a pickup truck, it was all bad.

The good news: there’s coffee in Heaven (that’ll be brought to you by a woman).

The bad news: no air conditioning in Heaven.

This experience has taught me a valuable lesson. I will have legal documents that bind people to do my postmortem bidding. I will be cremated and made into garden gnomes. People will have to attend a formal attire award ceremony ala the Oscars instead of a “funeral” where they will possibly be awarded a dead person infused garden gnome as their prize. You’ll have to show up to see if you win. Oh, yes, it will happen. And I will make sure that someone has the power off attorney to enforce it. As Batman as my witness, it will be done.

Okay, enough of that. Onto funnier and possibly truer things, Teacher Sis sent me this yesterday and it reminded me of mine and Dave’s old tip jar:

Yeah. Art is dangerous.

Also, Presidents are dangerous:

“Bitch, everybody in here is safe from your crazy goat demon fear.” Yeah.

Okay, well I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got meetings to attend and arrows to shoot. More soon. ~SC