This guy.

Really, I could use just about anything. Unfortunately, I was exhausted last night so I passed the fuck out at 8:30pm and missed dinner. That means, 9 hours later, I woke up. Do the math. Yeah, so it is 5:30am and the kitchen doesn’t open for an hour and a half, and I am hungry boy.

The wizard needs food badly.

Since I’ve got some time to kill, I will tell you, in intimate detail, the tale of my journey to Ireland. I won’t start at the beginning, when my parents met, but I will start with me arriving at the airport yesterday. That’s as good a place to start as any.

So, I arrived at the airport yesterday at about 11:50am. The flight was supposed to leave at 1:55pm. But of course that didn’t happen. The plane was busted. And they couldn’t fix it. So, they had to bring us a new plane. From Atlanta. Which took 3 hours. That meant we were not making the connecting flight to Dublin. Great.

So, the people at the Delta desk worked diligently to get us rerouted. And they did a great job. Or so I thought. I should have known it was too good to be true. I discovered this after we arrived in Atlanta. You know, after I had been sitting around for 5 hours and then flown three hours, and then ran from the midpoint of Atlanta airport to the end of the airport because I was informed that was where my next plane was. Wrong. Sorry, your princess is in another castle. At the opposite end of the airport. Sigh.

So, I hauled ass to the other end. Made it to the counter. Checked in. Wrong. I am sorry but when Delta transferred you to British Airways, they put you in first class from business class. That is “illegal”. Go to the Delta desk and have them correct this. So, I go to the Delta desk. They did something, made about five phone calls, rolled their eyes at the British Airways people a lot, and fixed it. Just in time for me to walk to the counter, get my boarding passes from the guy, turn around, hand them back to the guy, and get on the plane.

Then, we make it to London Heathrow. And we make it through the twenty miles of airport security checkpoints and terminals to our gate. Only to find out that we missed one tiny little checkpoint where they were supposed to take our pictures. So, back to the beginning to do it all over again. Yay! And when we finally get through it all again. We are running to the gate. And we made it.

I say “we” here because, kind in mind, I am dragging my 18 year old student behind me at this point. He is tired and hungry and wants his mommy. All I wanted was a cigarette and to punch someone.

So, we make it to Dublin. And we go get the luggage. Except mine didn’t quite make it onto the plane. Although, my student’s did. Great. Oh, don’t worry sir, it’ll be arriving on the next flight in in about three hours. Great. No worries. Except that I am walking outside, getting on a bus, and driving to Galway right now. Which is on the other side of the country. Fuck. It is a good thing that all of my important stuff is in my backpack. Oh, wait.

At least I have my camera, laptop, and my most importantly, cigarettes.

And that is how I came to be sitting in the lobby of a fancy Irish hotel in Galway at 5:30 in the morning.

Today, I think we are going to the cliffs. Hopefully, they are the cliffs of breakfast.

Alright, I’m going to try to wrangle up some pre-breakfast grub. More soon. ~SC