Black gold. Turkish tea.

I received an email from Andi the Numbers yesterday. This is what is said:

“250 – 500 words on the differences between morning coffee and coffee as an after dinner drink. Go.”

So, here goes.

Coffee. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Macchiato.

Coffee is one of those things, like instant ramen, that holds a special place in our hearts. It is a thing that crosses generation gaps, that crosses the aisle in Congress, that brings people together and comforts them.

And coffee is a strange creature depending on when you drink it. It is the shape shifter of beverages. Like Odo, but black.

In the mornings, it is the life giver. We drink it to become a functioning human being. Skip it and you’ll find yourself dragging ass all day. Usually with a headache.

In the afternoons, it is that pick me up that keeps you from napping at your desk and being snippy at everyone who asks you a stupid question.

Late at night, it is the thing that keeps you functioning so that you can keep cramming for that Organic Chemistry final.

Now it appears that coffee just functions in keeping you awake. This is when coffee goes all flip-mode on you. Like Busta Rhymes. It will rawr rawr like a Dungeon Dragons.

The cup of coffee after dinner. What a strange beast you are. I never noticed the after dinner coffee until I was an adult. And by adult, I mean that I too was drinking coffee. Sure, I drank it when I was a little kid, but that was different. For one, I usually drank it out of a cup that read “World’s Greatest Grandma” or simply “Mike” and usually I took a little coffee with my sugar. But as an adult I drink coffee in a non-ironic/non-cute kind of way. I usually make it myself and do so in silence. The morning prayers and the self-sacrifice before the altar of coffee.

Once I noticed the after dinner coffee, everything changed. It is this interesting exchange that happens. On one hand it allows you to prolong dinner, usually with friends. It allows you one more hour or so of company and conversation. After the pre-dinner drinks, the appetizers, the soup, the salad, the fish course, the main course, the dessert, the snifters of sherry or brandy or some other drinks ending in -gnac, you drink coffee. On the other hand, it also aids in digestion. Or so I’ve been told.

And the after dinner coffee can be anything. Decaf or regular, espresso or drip, latte or cappuccino or regular old black coffee. Personally, I prefer a decaf espresso with a little sugar and milk after dinner.

So, to conclude this essay, I will simplify my ramblings. Morning coffee makes things mover faster. Or at least at normal speed. After dinner coffee slows things down and makes them stretch on. I guess you could say that the first cup in the morning gets you started on the path to the one after dinner.

That’s what I’ve got. How’d I do?

More soon. ~SC