We promise. We sell it. And we would never lie to you.

Yesterday didn’t go as I expected it to. For one, I got to watch way more Deep Space 9 than I thought I was going to get to. Which is awesome. I also managed to do all of the laundry. I haven’t folded it, but it is clean at least.

There was also no Pathfinder last night. We all just sat around and played Cards Against Humanity like people who have to be caring and responsible adults during the week.

Other than sitting around watching my stories while laundry cleaned itself, my day was spent playing Two Dots and researching new sparring gloves on Amazon. The gloves I bought myself for my birthday are starting to show signs of wear. By that I mean I have wrecked them by smashing them into Gary’s face as hard as possible.

It was this latter task that brought a new pleasure to my attention. The product descriptions for sparring gloves are brilliant. Here’s a sample of one that I found:

These are obviously of the highest qualities.

“This Boxing Gloves will provide you with the best protection in daily training. Adopting high-quality material, it is tough enough for your long-term use. In addition, it is easy to use and comfortable to wear. Furthermore, it features fine workmanship and concise design. These gloves are optimal for grappling and striking in both training and competition.”

I was hoping that it would say something about a man confronting you, on the streets or in competition, he is the enemy. Thusly, he deserves no mercy which, this gloves, does not provide.

If you think those are silly, you should see the ones with tiger claws or skeleton hands printed on the outside. And they are only like $15. I am trying really hard not to buy a set with tiger claws on them. Simply because they used the word “furthermore” in their description.

It’s the small things in life that make me happy. Like crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

Today is a day of getting more stuff done. I’m hoping to get a shower in today. I’ve been putting it off for weeks now. Only partially kidding.

Have a wonderful remainder of your rainy weekend.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC