1. Slowly Moving Your Mastication.

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    February 18, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

    Closer to my ear. Until I very quickly and precisely stick a mechanical pencil into your neck. Happy Drink Wine …
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  2. Ruining Childhoods Since 1984.

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    February 17, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

    One horse slowly sinking into the mud at a time. Happy Random Acts of Kindness Day! I decided to celebrate …
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  3. I Don’t Know What I Ate That Made That Smell Happen.

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    February 16, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

    But I don’t want to ever eat it again. Happy Do a Grouch a Favor Day! Be sure to do …
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  4. Sometimes You Feel Like a GSJNDJNWUHUEHXZFAE.

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    February 15, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

    And sometimes you don’t. Happy No One Eats Alone Day! Yesterday was a really long day. From a conflicted bank …
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  5. Shove It In Your Shit Basket.

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    February 14, 2019 by sandwichcontrol

    The figurative one. Not the literal one. Oh, please squeeze me with your hotdog juice. Happy Organ Donor Day! Be …
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