The real Wolverine would never do that.


May 8, 2009 by sandwichcontrol

After viewing X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I was a little torn. I’m not really torn anymore. Part of me says that I should not like this movie. The other part of me, the part that is winning this epic battle, is a twelve year old Sandwich Control with a raging hard-on for onscreen Wolvie violence. I think that sometimes you have to turn the film critic off and let your inner child get to live out their dreams on the big screen. I can distinctly recall being on the playground in sixth grade and talking about how awesome it would be to see the X-Men (and the Lord of the Rings, for that matter) on the big screen. Wish granted. It was the same thing with the Transformers movie and the previous X-Men movies, I can’t help but enjoy them. Now there is a new Star Trek. It’s like I’m twelve again in a twenty eight year old’s body. Do not get me wrong, these films are not ground breaking brilliant films, they are eye candy. So what if Gambit doesn’t have a cajun accent. He’s there. On the screen. The thing you’ve been secretly, or not so secretly in my case, wishing for since the first X-Men movie. And he’s throwing aces of spades and using his stick thing and being kick ass and no one can take that away from you now. Poopoo on X3 all you want, but Dr. Hank McCoy was on the screen played by fucking Dr. Frasier Crane. All your poopooing just got flushed. I’m the Juggernaut bitch (played by Big Chris at that)! It would be like saying the film version of Sin City had terrible dialog. Well yeah. The comic did, too. Frank Miller wrote it. But you’ll stop complaining when Jessica Alba starts pole dancing. Anyways, enough of this rambling. If you want to poopoo on something, save it for something that is trying to be brilliant and is falling short. Don’t poopoo on something that is aimed at twelve year olds, and the people who used to be twelve year olds, who love comic books. ~SC


  1. Chuy says:

    Just because a movie is either A.)made for kids or B.)made to take advantage of the memories of people who used to be kids doesn’t mean it has to be a piece of shit. Witness:
    Star Wars IV: A New Hope
    Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
    Batman Begins
    The Dark Knight
    Iron Man
    Superman (the original)
    Space Camp
    The Last Starfighter
    and so on

  2. sandwichcontrol says:

    I concur. My point is that when viewing a movie based on something from your childhood, watch it for the entertainment value not for the quality of artistry. If the film happens to be good, it is a pleasant surprise. If the film is not ground breaking, it was at least entertaining because your childhood dreams were realized on the big screen. Prime example : The Incredible Hulk with Ed Norton. Not brilliant, but entertaining.

  3. Chuy says:

    I understand your point, however I still disagree. Perhaps if we (the viewing public and original audience for the sources of these movies) demanded better then more of them would be good on every level, as opposed to one-weekend-crapped-out-moneymakers for our corporate masters.

  4. sandwichcontrol says:

    Chuy, as always, you use the simple problem of comic movies to illustrate a much larger issue. If we could get the world to care about quality over quantity, we would both be a lot happier, I think. I am still thankful that these films, however shitty, have been made. Now I, if not more people, can check that wish off the list and move on to the next one. I do recall, as a twelve year old, never wishing for the X-Men movies to be good, only that they were made. So, I guess you really do have to watch what you wish for. I wished for X-Men and I got them. It also does not hurt to have low standards when it comes to films. Anyways, good show ol’ chap for battling with me over this issue.

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