Dust Off The Battens.


November 25, 2013 by sandwichcontrol

The hatches miss them.

Despite the fact that the Japanese girls have been complaining that it is “cold” ever since the temperature dropped below 32°C (90°F), it is actually cold here now. As in “recognized by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration as cold” cold. And Winter is still a few weeks away. It is about to get awesome.

In other news, I’d like to send my condolences and my apologies to Don Chulius this morning. West Brom faces off against Aston Villa later today and we have no choice but to beat their pants off. Sorry friend. It’s nothing personal. Not like with Man United.

Next up, I’d like to clarify something that caused a bit of confusion yesterday. I had referred to Pathfinder as the “real world” and actual life as the “mundane world”. This confused and upset a few people. Obviously, they’re not golfers. So, let me just say that everything is fine. What I meant by that is that in Pathfinder any non-magical item is referred to as a mundane item. Since the entirety of my actual existence is a non-masterwork, non-magical item, it is therefore, by definition, mundane. Some people got a little freaked/butt hurt by me referring to their precious real life as mundane.

In Pathfinder I can fly and punch you so hard that you light on fire. By comparison, anything that I do real life IS mundane. See my point? Simply semantics. And the fact that I have to be funny and clever or you’ll stop reading my website here in the mundane world. In the real world, I’d just have my rat-folk buddy turn the website into a cursed item. Then, you’d have to read it. Forever. (Unless you passed the Will save, of course.)

This is a cursed coconut. You just looked at it. Roll Will save. You are now cursed with Quivering Butthole for 3D6 rounds.

This is a cursed coconut. You just looked at it. Roll Will save. You are now cursed with Quivering Butthole for 3D6 rounds.


In other news, this:


Hobo Rich.


To find out what that is all about, click here.

Okay, I have to go to work now.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC

1 comment »

  1. Dave says:

    Cripes! The first X-Men movie came out almost 14 years ago.
    Also, got a 13 to save. Looks like I’m gonna be quivering.
    Oh and I’ll be sure to pass the condolences along, as I will be seeing Master Chu in the flesh today.

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