Oh My Holy Horselord.


December 26, 2013 by sandwichcontrol

I’m gonna puff-paint a Gnome paladin on my pajamas.

What a busy few days I’ve had!

This post is coming to you a little later today than I had intended. Such is life. Between banking for Jesus, Boxing Day football matches, and being a decent human being, I haven’t had much time to work on this post. Until now.

Before I get into the shakedown of my Grismas festivities, let me just give you a bit of friendly advice. Check your email. Often. I have theses two email addresses that I never check. The other day I accidentally opened the Mail program. It was a mistake on so many levels. 5736 emails later, I was free to do something else with my life. Anything else.

Now, on to Grismas.

Grismas Eve we all headed over to my parents’s house for a party. Much food and laughing had my stomach in the hurt locker by the end of the night, but it was, overall, a good time. I stayed up way too late.

Only to have to get up stupid early for Grismas Round 2. I do this for three reasons.

1) It is the one day a year where Word to Me actually cooks a meal for us.

2) Stockings (the Santa kind, not the sexy lady kind)

3) Presnents.

This year’s haul was relatively small compared to the past few years. But the gifts were all about quality over quantity, which warmed my heart in that slightly irritating way that only family knows the secrets to performing.

Behold my horde:


I had prepared myself for the small haul this year. It has been a rough financial and emotional year for all of us, so I wasn’t expecting the usual mountain of presnents.

But that is dumb. I want my mountain of presnents dammit. So, being the smart (and only) one in my house, I devised a plan. Because, as you all know, I have plenty of time to look at stuff and think about stuff.

My plan was simple. I made arrangements to subsidize Grismas. I knew I’d be getting money from various sources for Grismas, so on Grey Thursday (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) I bought a stack of movies. For myself. This plan all hinged on people giving me money. Because I was spending my electric bill money. Luckily, the money came through so I can now pay my bills. And I have a fuck ton of movies. No, seriously, there’s a lot of them. Check it:


What’s that thing that I don’t do?

Oh, yeah. Fuck around.

If you want something done right, sometimes you just have to do it yourself. Sometimes, you just have to light a few scented candles, turn on some Sting, and get down to business. And buy yourself a stack of presnents. Then, give them to yourself and say that they are from other people. In the future. Future presnents. Received now.

After round 2 of Grismas, I proceeded to sit at my computer for 3 hours downloading all of the free digital copies of the movies that “other people” bought me for Grismas. I took a little rest of my eyes and then headed to Lippincottonia for Grismas Round 3.

The Royal family kept the theme of quality presnents going when they gave me my long-sought-after Master of Puppets t-shirt.


Score one for evil.

And that is all I have for you today.

I’m off to start prepping for dinner tonight and Pathfinder on Saturday.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC

PS. West Brom just drew with Tottenham Hotspur 1-1. Boing Boing Baggies!

1 comment »

  1. Jessica says:

    You know you can forward those other addresses to your current email…right?

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