Hold On One Sec While I Put You On Speaker Phone.


April 18, 2015 by sandwichcontrol

I can’t hold the phone up to my head AND insert this lit road flare into a Russian guy’s gunshot wound at the same time.

I’m shit at multi-tasking.


“Okay. I’ll hold.”

Be sure to send Taco Planet some good doogies today as he finishes out his time in the clink.

Also be sure to get ready for another exciting day of West Brom football. And by exciting, I mean unpredictable and more than likely shitty. I mean, come on. A 4-1 loss to QPR followed by a 3-2 loss to Leicester. It’s a good thing that Crystal Palace is ranked higher than us or else we would never be able to defeat them. My manager is getting the sack any day now if he doesn’t start winning soon. I haven’t bothered to learn his name. It’s that bad for us right now.

On to a happier subject. No. Not really.

Tonight is the roller derby double header. Some of us will be wearing turquoise bandanas and things to honor a junior roller derby skater who committed suicide due to being bullied over their gender identity. Which is bullshit. So, feel free to wear turquoise or the number 57 tonight to honor their memory. And to tell bullies everywhere that they can eat a bag of dicks.

I’ll be there shooting photos and peddling my wares, so feel free to swing by and say “Howdy”. Bubba Fett will be manning my booth while I shoot, so come give him your money to give to me.

After derby… nachos.

See ya’ l8r sk8r.

More soon. ~SC



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