Come, Pay Homage To Me.


March 15, 2022 by sandwichcontrol

Bring forth your carbohydrates!

Today’s theme is: absorption.


That sponge represents the fat cells that live around my torso.

Ready to soak up anything I throw at it.

Donuts, bacon chili cheeseburgers with onion rings, cookies, milkshakes, cake.


Feed me Seymour.

I’m like a friggin’ bear coming out of hibernation.

THe weather is above freezing.

Must eat food again.

Like I stopped for the winter.

And slept for four months.


I wish.

Instead I am just sleepy and hungry and grumpy year round.

Also, fuck standing in a bunch of fast flowing water to try to catch a salmon in my mouth.

I can stand in the seafood section of the grocery store and catch a salmon with my fucking hand.

I’m a primate, bitch.

I plan on showing off my opposable thumbs as long as they stay attached and functioning.

Now it’s time to take my thumbs to work.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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