And she is sexually compact.

Ah, the beauty of things being misinterpreted. Morning everybody. Since this is the last post I will be making, since the world is gonna end and all, I’m gonna just go ahead and get this out of the way.

Hey, don’t be scared. Don’t even be skerred. It’ll be just like falling asleep. But with more pain and screaming and world ending than usual.

Since I can only assume that I’m gonna die in a few hours, I’m going to go out like me. I was going to do and say whatever I want, but I pretty much do that anyway. So, today’s post is going to be like every other day’s post: awesome. And since today is Friday, we’re gonna have a normal Friday post. So sit the fuck down and relax.

Happy Friday everybody! If you hadn’t noticed, I added a new podcast for y’all. The newest episode of the Pathfinders is now available and you can listen to it by clicking here.

Despite all the emails from my adoring fans, there will still be no new articles about restaurants until February. Sorry kids. But, I’m doing plenty of craziness on here, so stay tuned in. Until later today, anyway. Since that’s when the broadcast will end and we will become one big buffet for our patiently awaiting bacterial overlords.

As per usual, I had a crap ton of people in my house last night. We ate the meatiest meat stew with Bailey’s mashed potatoes. Ridiculous. Seriously, Brazilians are ridiculous people. And, of course, there were people who’d never been to the house, so…

Umi.

Beer.

I really can’t keep up with all of these people anymore. It is a good thing that we’ll all be dead soon. Then, I won’t look like an asshole for forgetting people’s names. The end of the world is awesome.

Oh, and then there was this (Dave, I thought of you):

Speak slowly and loudly when speaking English to a foreigner, that way they can take notes and turn it into an aerobics mantra/language lesson television show for housewives.

Speaking of English, under normal circumstances, West Brom would be playing Norwich tomorrow. And they would kick their ever-loving asses. But they’ll all be dead. So we can just go ahead and say we won, right? Right.

I am going to go spend the rest of my day as I normally would. By doing stuff. Mostly working on the podcasts that I have failed to work on thus far. Tonight, we party like it’s Y2K.

Have a great rest of your life. More soon. Probably. ~SC