All You Need Is Glove.


August 4, 2021 by sandwichcontrol

Glove is all you need.

The word of the day is: Persnickety.

[ per-snik-i-tee ]
adjective Informal.
overparticular; fussy.
snobbish or having the aloof attitude of a snob.
requiring painstaking care.

I don’t know if you know this, but there is a very specific way in which dishes are put in the dishwasher.

Not only does it maximize cleaning area, but it also makes putting the dishes away 1.6 times faster.

Why would think that both large and small spoons go in the same compartment?

That’s crazy talk.

Yesterday was a lot of driving.

I had initially planned on listening to “1984” the whole time, but it was making me sleepy.

Which is not desirable at exactly 75 miles per hour.

I wouldn’t dream of going faster than the speed limit, officer.

Ha ha ha ha.

Don’t mind me.

Just chatting with the thought police.

So I had run out of vitamins.

You know, the regular ol’ one-a-day vitamins.

Anyway, I ran out.

So I decided to use some of the gummy vitamins we got for Mr. Boobodie and which he never takes.

Fuck gummy vitamins.

It was like trying to eat an eraser.

Actually, I’ve chewed on plenty of erasers.

Many of them were better than these vitamins.

So I went to the store and bought real vitamins.

I decided to buy “really good” vitamins.

The name brand ones made for dudes who are active or whatever.

All my life vitamins have been tan.

And they develop little oxidation spots after a while because you bought the bottle of like 14,000 at Sam’s Club and didn’t really think about how it would take you over 38 years to take all of those vitamins because you only take one a day.

But these new, fancy vitamins are bright green.

Like Kelly, St. Patrick’s Day, top-o-tha-fuckin’-mornin’ green.

I don’t know how I feel about that just yet.

Hopefully it will do all the shit it promised me on the box.

Or least not make me feel weird.

Weirder than usual, that is.

Why am I still talking to you?

I’ve got shit to do.

See ya’ tomorrow.

More soon. ~SC


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