April 21, 2015 by sandwichcontrol
You can stop doing push-ups.
Yesterday I handled the business.
All of it.
All of it?
ALL OF IT!!!
This is what happens when you wake up at 4:30am having the most wonderful dream about chain smoking whole cartons of cigarettes. Lucky Strikes at that.
You’re probably thinking that was a bad dream. You would be wrong. Don’t worry, you’re probably wrong about all sorts of things, a lot of the time.
It was the best dream of my whole life. Just me and cigarettes. Walking hand in hand everywhere. And I smoked all of them.
Then, I got out of bed. And took care of it.
Monday. That’s what.
I punched it in its stupid whore face.
I ate its babies for breakfast.
I spit in its girlfriends mouth and she asked for more.
This is why I’m good at my job.
Because I handle it. Whatever “it” is. I handle it.
Like a goddamn grown-up.
Today, I’ll be sweeping up all the broken glass.
From when I kicked Monday so hard it went through the window.
I’ll also be making you do push-ups.
Gird your loins.
See ya’ tomorrow.
More soon. ~SC
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